Picking on the Warriors!
by Moore12
Summary: Ever wonder why certain characters are in the story? Ever wonder why they act the way they do? Introducing "Picking on..." where I'll try to explain the existence of your favorite/hated minor characters. R&R! I'M FINALLY BACK! Redtail and Dustpelt up!
1. Introduction&Goals

_**Hey everybody! This is my first humorous Warriors series and I need suggestions. If you have any secondary characters you want me to "pick on" please submit them. I'm asking the question why they exist, why they are what they are (basically what's the point of them being in the story). I want to write about what you want to read about, so your advice is really important in the early stages of this project. **_

_**I'm thinking about starting off with Daisy, Ferncloud or Brackenfur. What do you think? Either that or I'm going to talk about Honeyfern, Berrynose, or Littlecloud (as always lol). Tell me what you want to hear about! **_

_**Cats from every clan and series will be featured so keep checking back and give some advice. Oh, and since it's humorous, I will be making fun of them (ala Daydreamer897's "The Truth About Warriors" (thanks for the inspiration!)) so that's your warning. **_

_**Oh, and I DO NOT OWN WARRIORS (if I did, I think the focus would be on ShadowClan lol). Rate T for safety… **_


	2. Honeyfern!

_**Picking on…Honeyfern! **_

_Thanks to Birchsong and Avatar2016 for the suggestion… _

_Ramblings about the purpose of Honeyfern and her very annoying personality… _

Okay…wow. I had _so _many problems with Honeyfern until she finally died randomly in _Sunrise_ (yeah, what was the point of that?). First of all, what was up with her crush on Berrynose? I mean, come on, _Berrynose_? Every time his name came up in the book I would just stop reading, look to see where his part ended and then start reading there. But, for some reason that I still can't even understand (even after his personality did a 360 like the moment she died), she thought he was the hottest thing in the entire flipping world. She gave up _Lionblaze _for him? Come on, even that mildly psychotic, potential mass murderer is a better catch than Berrynose.

Look, I think I got why she was in the book. Something 'bout showing the sacrifices Lionblaze had to make to be the best freaking warrior _ever _(He made a cat fall in love with _Berrynose _for crying out loud!).It's like blah blah blah she used to like Lionblaze until he blah blah blah Berrynose became a warrior blah blah blah and it was totally freaking obvious that he wanted _NOTHING _to do with her but apparently that made him TEN TIMES HOTTER! (And _still _Thornclaw hasn't had a mate and _Berrynose _gets fawned over like he's the hottest thing with a tail and four paws? Don't get it. Have major problem with that one…)

Honestly, it got to the point where Honeyfern annoyed me as much as Hollyleaf (yes, the psychotic, warrior code obsessed, hypocritical weirdo that she was). Every other word out of her mouth was _Berrynose_. Like we needed another Ferncloud in the story! That's probably what she would've turned into had that snake not bit her randomly in _Sunrise_. Now, if you think Ferncloud and Dustpelt's kits are annoying (i.e. Spiderleg and Birchfall (well Birchfall until _Sunrise _where suddenly his personality did a 360 and he was suddenly nice again)) just take a second to think about the kits that Berrynose and Honeyfern would have had…

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!! MORE ANNOYING, SELF-LOVING, OVERLY TALKATIVE (I can just see one of them getting obsessed with another cat and the whole dang cycle staring over wasting more pages that could've been filled with action), OBNOXIOUS, HALF-KITTY PETS!!

Even their relationship at the end was totally messed up! I mean, yes Ms. Hunter I _know _it was supposed to be so darn _touching _and we were supposed to be so darn _sad _'cause poor little sweet (_sweet?????) _Berrynose lost his one true love 'cause a snake randomly appeared (never had a single problem with a snake until then, and then it randomly appeared, yeah…) and bit her. But when, I ask, when was Berrynose ever nice to her up to that point? WHEN? And suddenly he's like_ hey, baby, let's be the new and improved Ferncloud and Dustpelt and breed the most annoying kits ever created. We can totally out produce them. _And she's like *_giggle_* _I know you ignored me for moons and moons and moons but now you _obviously_ love me _*_swoon_* _Oh, Berrynose, yes I want to go down in history as the mother of the single most annoying line of cats ever created!_ And then it's like, _OMG that snake is about to randomly kill that random kit _(was it Briarkit? Bumblekit? Blossomkit? all the B named kits are getting on my nerves and are so darn similar it isn't even funny…) _I must save her/him! _Snake bites her…*_gasp_* _Now I won't get to be with my wunderful, luvely, handsume Berrynose! NOOOOOOOOO! *dies*_

At first I thought we were going to be saved from all the angst and endless love fest complete with incredibly annoying kits until I looked at the ThunderClan allegiance page in _The Fourth Apprentice _and saw that *_gasp_* BERRYNOSE GOT _POPPYFROST _PREGNANT! NO NO NO NO NO!! THAT IS SOOOO WRONG ON SOOO MANY LEVELS!

And then, just because I wanted to make sure that Berrynose was the jerk that I thought he was, I typed in Honeyfern's name in to see where she appears in the book and… OMG she's EVERYWHERE! Apparently, we're not going to be saved from their horribly clichéd annoying love fest even though she's dead and Berrynose got _Poppyfrost _pregnant! Because now Berrynose is apparently obsessed with _her _(never saw that one coming, did we?) Ugh… now that's something I can't even see Dustpelt and Ferncloud doing.

So, to sum everything up Honeyfern is one of those annoying secondary characters that really serves no purpose except to get killed (randomly) for some (random) kit so that Hollyleaf can go insane and try to kill Leafpool (randomly) and to annoy us all (even in death!!) by being like oh, Berrynose, wherefore art though Berrynose? _endlessly_.

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_Tell me what you think everyone! And, if you have any suggestions at all PLEASE TELL ME! I don't really know which characters to write about so if you want to see something then just press the "Review this Story/Chapter" (it's right there, just scroll down and click it, you can do it!) and I'll most likely write it. Hope you enjoyed my ramblings about Honeyfern! Next up is whatever you want me to write about so R&R quickly to get it in there! _

_~Moore12~ _


	3. Spottedleaf!

_**Picking on…Spottedleaf! **_

_Thanks to Briarpaw and Avatar2016 for the suggestion! (Briarpaw, oh, I will probably write one for Rosetail eventually but I haven't read Bluestar's prophecy so I can't at the moment…)._

_Oh, for all of you fans of Spottedleaf out there please don't be offended! This is meant to be a JOKE and, personally, __I like Spottedleaf__. Just FYI. Coming up next will be Ferncloud so keep checking back! _

_Ramblings about the purpose of Spottedleaf and her really irritating need to mess with Sandstorm and Firestar's relationship (even AFTER giving them her blessing)…_

Some of my favorite characters are medicine cats (I love Littlecloud, Yellowfang, and Leaf_paw _(can't stand Leaf_pool_)) so my problems with Spottedleaf as a character do _not _stem from the fact she is a medicine cat. It stems from the fact she won't leave Firestar freaking alone!

Like, seriously, I've had it with forbidden love, and, even though it was one of the first ones in the entire series it made the LEAST sense to me. What, didn't she die really soon after Firestar came to the camp? Granted it wasn't as fast as Crowfeather and Leafpool fell in love (_*swoon* oh, Crowfeather, you just saved my live! *in manly voice* Leafpool, I love you! I just could never say it before. *giggle* Oh, Crowfeather, I hated you up to this moment basically but I luve you now! Let's have psychotic, idiotic kits together!_) or as so badly clichéd (LionXHeather) but still. _Really? _

And then, she keeps hanging around Firestar even after she dies, visiting him in his dreams all the time, and, because of this, nearly messes up his relationship with Sandstorm (yes, I'm in the camp with those of you who believe that Sandstorm really had a right to be angry with him over Spottedleaf…). I mean, come on Spottedleaf, you're _DEAD_. Sandstorm is, miraculously enough, _ALIVE AND NOT A MEDICINE CAT!! _Hey, Spottedleaf, if you really truly luved your wittle Firepaw you would let him live his life. I think you're being just a _little _selfish. But, hey, you're so awesome and cool and such a good-doer it doesn't matter…

Granted, Spottedleaf has been a really important character…in helping to build the plot! Come on, let another medicine cat deliver a prophecy once in awhile, will you? I mean, how hilariously funny/awesome would it be for Yellowfang to show up in one of Firestar's dreams? (_*gasp* oh, I wasn't expecting _you_, Yellowfang. I was kinda waiting for Spottedleaf to show up and, ya know…_ _*angry yowl* FIRESTAR YOU PERVERTED FREAK!! YOU HAVE A MATE AND TWO KITS AND THREE GRAND KITS FOR STARCLAN'S SAKE!)_

I mean, why, Ms. Hunter, is it always _Spottedleaf_? I thought she was cool with Sandstorm and Firestar's relationship (didn't she give them her _blessing _in Firestar's quest (yeah, that's another problem, Firestar needed her freaking _blessing _to actually be with Sandstorm, and Spottedleaf had the nerve to assert her power like that: _Oh, Firestar, I think that you two should be together…_When he's not listening_, laughs manically, Yes, Firestar, you should be with her in life. But in death…yeah, baby, it's on! To heck with the Warrior Code, baby, we'll already be in StarClan!_)) so why does she always have to use those dang prophecies to check up on him? WHY? Spottedleaf you home wrecker! No wonder Leaf_pool _is such a messed up little cat, look at her home life! Her daddy still wants to go out with a dead cat, and that dead cat (who is so totally not Mary Sue and is just such an amazing cat) allows it!

That's my main problem with Spottedleaf: her incessant need to mess with Firestar and Sandstorm's relationship (a relationship that totally works sooooooo much better than Spottedleaf and Firestar's would've (just imagine a bunch of slightly stalker-ish, too goody goody and totally not Mary Sues taking over ThunderClan (take twenty seconds to think about it…) Man, there would probably be more obnoxiously annoying kittypets (see Daisy and her little brat Berrynose) if all of the cats were descendent of those two! 'Cause, trust me, they would've taken in _any _cat that needed help, hey, maybe even a badger or two for good measure…)). My other problem with Spottedleaf? Well, I can sum that up in one word: JAYFEATHER! (No, I'm not for random kits getting killed (I _cried _when Snowkit got eaten by the hawk and when Tadpole died) but seriously, imagine a world without Jayfeather and get back to me on that one!) SHE SAVED FREAKING JAYFEATHER! Ugh…

So, to sum everything up, Spottedleaf's main purpose is to (randomly) deliver prophecy to her special wittle baby Firestar to help keep the plot going (and to check up on him, obviously, make sure he _never _forgets her…) and to make poor Sandstorm (who is one of the best characters in the stories even though she gets so little respect) go crazy. Oh, and, on top of that, she had to go and save freaking Jayfeather (so that we could have more JayXStick romance obviously). Yeah, and you thought you liked that home wrecker, didn't you?

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_Yes, I do love Spottedleaf. That took a lot to write (phew…glad that's done with lol). Anyway, hope you enjoyed it (and hope I didn't offend you, those of you who like her). Keep checking back and please give suggestions! As always, the button is right there, below, calling your name. If you didn't like this one, give suggestions of who you would like me to pick on! The button is right there, still calling your name…_

_Next up is Ferncloud (but I am still taking suggestions for the chapters after it! I'm hoping to do 20-30 of these so please R&R and tell me who to write about. I'm in DESPERATE need of characters to write about!)_

_Until the next installment (coming probably Thursday or Friday)…_

_~Moore12~ _


	4. Ferncloud!

_**Picking on…Ferncloud!**_

_Thanks to Birchsong and Avatar2016 for confirming that I should totally pick on Ferncloud! Oh, and FYI I had no chance to proof read this so please forgive typos…_

_Ramblings about the purpose of Ferncloud (whatever that may be other than repopulating ThunderClan…) and her virtually nonexistent personality…_

_Once upon a time in a beautiful forest there lived a noble young cat named Dustpelt. Now, this noble young cat was so very noble that he just couldn't tolerate that his Clan, the once noble ThunderClan, was being overrun by useless, annoying, overly goody goody and totally NOT noble kittypets. So…he hatched a very noble (though slightly evil) plan. And this noble (though slightly evil) plan was called Operation Repopulate ThunderClan with PUREBRED THUNDERCLAN CATS (what a concept!). Now all he needed was a mate… _

I have so many problems with Ferncloud I can't even count them on two hands (let alone remember them all…). She's just so…so…UGH! First of all, when is she NOT expecting kits, having kits, or taking care of kits? I mean I think she was a warrior for all of maybe one freaking book at the most and the rest of the time she's expecting, having or taking care of kits. I mean, is that possible? Doesn't she want to do _anything _other than have kit after kit after kit? Come on!

_Now, since Dustpelt was so very noble, he understood that the fate of his once noble clan was in his paws. So, he understood how vital it be that he have as MANY KITS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE! The moment he laid eyes on Ferncloud, he knew he had a match…_

Honestly, Ms. Hunter, did you _have _to make Ferncloud such an annoying, personality-less lump of fur? I swear, at one point, she maybe even had potential to be a slightly decent secondary character. She was kind of brave when Tigerstar killed her mother, Brindleface (worst name in the history of these books…), and she and Ashfur (then both apprentices) helped to lead the dogs off the cliffs? And then, practically the moment she earned her full name, _FREAKING DUSTPELT GOT HER PREGNANT! WHAT DID SHE LAST ONE NIGHT IN THE WARRIOR DEN!? _Hello, Ms. Hunter, I need to ask you a question: why? Why!? WHY????

Yes, I know you have so many characters to think about so you couldn't make them all interesting. I realize that, especially after Rowanclaw mysteriously had a sex change (yes, you can look that up) and Sootfur came back from the dead (look that one up to). I understand. BUT SERIOUSLY! If any cat perpetuates the stereotype of the queen who's completely useless, whiny and overly attached to her wittle, wuvely, incredibly noble mate it's her. I mean, I can sum up her existence in the book in like one word…

_KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! KITS! _

_Because Dustpelt was so very noble, he understood the need to have a wimpy, clingy mate who needed to always prove her love to him. He knew that he needed a cat with a remarkable ability to breed ENDLESSLY and whenever he felt the need to. What cat would be better than one who was (except for one moment where she went out of character) then Ferncloud? The wimpy, clingy cat she was. Oh, Dustpelt picked wisely. _

Oh, and her personality is nonexistent. She's all about the kits, baby! Whenever you see her it's something about those darn, annoying kits!

_*faint* Birchpaw has a tummy ache! Oh no! He may DIE save him _

_*yowl angrily* WHAT ABOUT MY KITS!? WHY ARE YOU GOING OFF AN EPIC JOURNEY TO SAVE ANOTHER CLAN YOU HAVEN'T HEARD OF WHEN _I _HAVE _KITS_! (_Firestar should've been like, _*confused* But you ALWAYS have kits…When could I go if I had to go when you didn't have any?_)

_*crying* One of my many kits died (and for some reason, I can't seem to remember their name…I have had so many of them. *sob*) _(Note: I am not for having kits/apprentices get killed. I cried for Shrewpaw, I really did…)

So, basically, Ferncloud is really only a ROBOT! Yes, a robot that produces babies at an exponential rate! OMG DUSTPELT'S EVIL (though very noble) PLAN MAY COME TRUE! Because, seriously, Ferncloud is just a kit producing machine. That's all she does. She doesn't have any personality (all she ever talks about are kits or Dustpelt), isn't brave or courageous (except for one isolated incident that was TOTALLY out of character), and she's in love with DUSTPELT! (granted he's really nice to _her _but is he nice to _anyone else_??) Oh, and she perpetuates that darn stereotype I absolutely hate. Hey, Ferncloud, Squirrelflight, Leopardstar, Ashfoot, Mistyfoot, etc., etc., etc. CAN ALL TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES! Oh, and, for the most part THEY HAVE PERSONALITIES! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?????

_Unfortunately, noble Dustpelt's very noble (though slightly evil) plan went very much awry. His offspring, the very noble Spiderleg HAD KITS WITH FREAKING DAISY and Birchfall (why Birch_fall_?) HAD KITS WITH WHITEWING (a half kittypet). Shrewpaw, Larchkit and Hollykit all died before they could probably go off and mate with other kittypets or half kittypets. *smacks himself in head with paw* I SHOULD'VE KNOWN BETTER! ALL MY KITS TURNED OUT LIKE _HER: _REALLY SCREWED UP!! _

Well, Dustpelt, you can still hold out hope for Foxleap and Icecloud (snicker…right…are there ANY full clan cats left in ThunderClan other than Brackenfur and Sorreltail's kits to mate with??)…Although, I think mating with Ferncloud was a mistake. Sure, she was full clan but…Look how screwed up her kits turned out. Probably because they were raised by a personality-less lump of fur they were attracted to personality-less lumps of fur (i.e. DAISY).

_And so the noble Dustpelt's noble (though slightly evil) plan was thwarted because he forgot to take into account that being able to reproduce endlessly and at lightning speed doesn't mean that ANY of the kits will be normal. Poor Dustpelt…Now his kits are merely continuing the line of kittypets in the clan, just what he didn't want. Blame your mate, Dustpelt, blame your mate…_

So, to sum everything up, Ferncloud's ONLY purpose is to produce an endless stream of really annoying cats who end up producing more really annoying cats (see Toadkit…). (but I will say that Ice_paw _(I don't know about Ice_cloud _she may turn out like her mommy but we can't be sure because none of Ferncloud's other female kits lived…).

Oh, and, she has ABSOLUTELY NO OTHER PURPOSE, I'm certain… Just trust me on this one…

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_Yeah, that one was longer than usual (really don't like Ferncloud…) Next up is Heathertail (thanks stealthclaw and strawberrypaw). But, as always, I am still taking suggestions for the chapters after it! I'm hoping to do 20-30 of these so please R&R and tell me who to write about. I'm in DESPERATE need of characters to write about!)_

_Until the next installment (coming probably Thursday or Friday)…_

_~Moore12~ _


	5. Heathertail!

**_Picking on…Heathertail! _**

_Thanks to stealthclaw and strawberrypaw for the suggestion… Up next will be Tigerstar ('cause I can't spend _all _my time picking on clichéd lovers…) so keep checking back! Oh, and forgive my typos 'cause I wanted to get this posted and had NO time to check._

_Ramblings about Heathertail being the same every other cat who *cough, cough* can't pick a mate in their own Clan and how forbidden love is really growing old (and fast!)…_

Before I begin my rant I will demonstrate to all of you how clichéd and overdone this whole forbidden love thing is in this series. (Please forgive me if I forgot any, there are _so _many cases of forbidden love it's kind of sickening. Oh, and I'm not counting cases that weren't confirmed or were merely one-sided so yeah). Here is my latest count of the oh-so-old-and-predictable-forbidden-love-tale:

-YellowXRagged

-BlueXOak

-FireXSpotted

-GrayXSilver

-TigerXSasha (but he could do whatever he darn well wanted so yeah…)

-CrowXFeather

-StormXBrook

-CrowXLeaf (u _again_what's wrong with those WindClan she-cats?)

-GrayXMillie (I guess you could say this one before she became a ThunderClan cat so I count it)

(-JayXStick lol…)

(Some of my favorite unconfirmed or one-sided forbidden loves: LittleXCinder (if I owned Warriors, this would've gone down!) and FireXLeaf_star_)

Yes, folks, before Lionblaze (then the naïve, innocent, and still cute (but personality-less) Lionpaw) fell in love Heathertail (then the sweet, adorable _*cough, cough* _and totally wonderful Heatherpaw) there were _NINE _cases (count them NINE cases) of forbidden love. Ms. Hunter, despite what you think, Warriors fans are _not _stupid. This is just plain insulting to our intelligence. Why did we need yet _another_case of forbidden love? WHY? (Oh, and for all of you who think I'm against the forbidden love plot line, I do like some of them. I think LittleXCinder was the most adorable thing EVER and really did love GrayXSilver (that's why GrayXMillie rubs me the wrong way) so, no I'm not anti-forbidden love. I'm just _tired _of it).

NINE times were there cases of forbidden love, NINE times we saw it coming a mile and a half away (except for maybe TigerXSasha personally I would've never even seen that one at all if it hadn't been spelled out for me lol), NINE times they went through the same sort of hurtles to be together, but for those other NINE times neither of the cats was _Heathertail_. What makes this case of forbidden love so much worse than the others (though not as bad as CrowXLeaf I will say that…_we just met and I hated you before but now I wuve you my wittle Crowfeather!_) other than being so gosh darn clichéd is _Heathertail_. Because there is absolutely NOTHING ORIGINAL ABOUT HER!

Even though I read the Power of Three series last (I sat down and read every book in a row one time because I was bored and _that _cool…) I have no idea off the top of my head how they met, why they fell in love (didn't Heathertail think they were just playing or something? IDK) and what exactly Heathertail's personality is. Maybe because it's just blending in with all the other NINE cases of forbidden love, or maybe it's because my theory is correct and she _doesn't_ have a personality. And this case of forbidden love is just so darn generic.

Heathertail, to me, represents the typical love struck she-cat, with a slight annoying twist: she justifies EVERYTHING by saying their _just friends_. How is that alright, Heathertail? _How? _Yes, I know you barely know your wittle Wionpaw at first but you just were so struck by his sun colored pelt and his manliness (bordering on just being a typical dumb arrogant tom) and there was _nobody _for you in WindClan (maybe Crowfeather would've taken you lol…) but STILL! REALLY?! _Another_ forbidden love scenario played out with one cat being, you guessed it _THUNDERCLAN_!(When can we have a ShadowXRiver or a WindXRiver or a WindXShadow? Why is there always a THUNDERCLAN cat involved – yes, I'm not stupid, I _know _they're the focus, but why is there _never _a ShadowClan cat involved in cross Clan loves? WHY?)

And what's sad, Heathertail, is that after Lionblaze rejected you, you went to BREEZEPELT! Wow, Lionblaze, you really have a habit for turning cats on to total jerks (see HoneyXBerry and now BreezeXHeather), now what does that say about you, my young friend? And yes, Ms. Hunter, once again I understand that giving up his relationship with the personality-less, rarely seen in person (yeah, I _better _not be the only one who noticed that – we _usually _see Heathertail _only _in Lionblaze's memories or his psychotic dreams) was to show the sacrifices Lionblaze had to make to be the _bestest _warrior _EVER _but really? REALLY? Do you think we're too stupid to realize that we've seen this old scenario played out NINE times and in much more fascinating ways as well?

So, to sum this all up, Heathertail has absolutely no personality (zip, zilch, zero) and her love of Lionblaze is, well, NUMBER TEN (or maybe an even higher number considering I may have LEFT TONS OUT BY ACCIDENT BECAUSE THERE ARE SO MANY!!) in the forbidden love cycle. Oh, and did I mention she's now mates with BREEZEPELT? Enough said, really. Yeah, you were _just _friends with Lionblaze and it was _just _so darn _adorable _that you were _just _friends. And it was _just _so darn _tragic _when you couldn't be together (like always…) because you're half-baked little relationship was just so cute and amazing, I never wanted it to end. Right…I'm buying that one. Long live CinderXLittle! (the first of the _just friends _(but revealed to be incredibly one-sided ('cause _*sob* Cinderpelt loved Firestar_) forbidden love scenarios that was actually adorable because WOW they HAD PERSONALITIES! Shocking concept, eh?)

Oh, and, by the way, she's like _*indignant yowl* it's totally NOT my fault that Lionblaze wants to kill me! We were _just _friends! JUST FRIENDS I TELL YOU! (Thanks strawberrypaw for that idea). NONE OF THIS IS MY FAULT AT ALL. _I'll leave it at this: how 'bout ya take some personal responsibility?

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_Yeah, that one was different than usual (yeah, I realize it turned into more of a conversation about how clichéd their relationship was, sorry. But really, what else was there to say?) Next up is Tigerstar! But, as always, I am still taking suggestions for the chapters after it! I'm hoping to do 20-30 of these (OR MORE because of its success) so please R&R and tell me who to write about. I still need of characters to write about!_

_Until the next installment (coming probably Friday, or earlier knowing me, lol)…_

_~Moore12~ _


	6. Author's Note

_**Hey, everybody, sorry, this isn't the newest installment (don't have time, have so much homework it isn't funny...). However, I did want to clarify what types of characters this is about (just so nobody is disappointed when I don't write about the character they suggested). Basically, to me, a secondary/minor character is one who's thoughts you never hear. So that means that I will not be "picking on" Bluestar, Firestar, Brambleclaw, Squirrelflight, Leafpool (although those two would be fun to pick on), Stormfur, Jayfeather (that might be it's own one shot lol 'cause I've got lots to say about him), Hollyleaf and Lionblaze. Anybody else is FAIR GAME! So keep telling me what you want me to write about. **_

**_Picking on Tigerstar AND (as an added bonus 'cause I want to do this one really badly) Picking on Littlecloud WILL BOTH BE UP TOMORROW! _**

**_Until then, and always appreciating your feedback..._**

**_~Moore12~ _**


	7. Tigerstar!

_**Picking on…Tigerstar! **_

_Thanks to Sunstream, strawberrypaw, and kittyboolady1 for the suggestion! _

_Oh, FYI I didn't read Bluestar's prophecy or the Sasha Magna series thing so my ramblings will not include anything from those (but, yes, I do realize his father, Pinestar, became a kittypet so yeah). But since three people asked for it, and I read every other book, I figured I should go for it…_

_Ramblings about Tigerstar's annoying, contradictory personality and code of conduct and how he just exists to be an obvious plot device and be a (random) stalker…_

Okay, first of all, I truly believe that Ms. Hunter thinks we're all _stupid_. Seriously, even though this belief is more pronounced in the later books (where cats mysteriously come back from the dead, get sex changes, switch personalities, and fall in love with cats they're *_gasp_* not supposed to), I saw it in the first series too, largely whenever Tigerstar (then Tigerclaw) was involved.

BECAUSE HOW COULD YOU _NOT _TELL HE WAS EVIL? HOW WAS THAT EVEN A QUESTION?

I mean, seriously, Ms. Hunter, you could've been more discreet about it if you wanted it to be a mystery. You could've made it so that it was so darn blatantly obvious (I knew, like, almost as soon as Redtail got killed and Ravenpaw was all wigged out that Tigerstar had something to do with it. If you did too, pat yourself on the back. What an obvious plot lol). But, granted, didn't Firestar (then Firepaw/heart) need an enemy to hate and plot against, direct all of his awesomeness at to defeat and become an awesomely amazing totally not Mary Sue hero? Didn't he need a cat that was so evil, so malicious (he basically called Cinderpaw after she got hurt a "plaything" now _that's _messed up), so uncaring and violent, Firestar would look like the _greatest _thing with a tail and four paws _IN THE HISTORY OF THE CLANS_? Yes, he did. And Tigerstar was _that _cat and remains _that _cat.

First of all, every single time something goes wrong (unless it's having to do with WindClan and their total hatred of ThunderClan anymore because they want to prove their awesome enough to survive without them) it seems like Tigerstar is _miraculously_ involved. For crying out loud, he _stalks _cats in their dreams. Well, I guess that makes sense. Evil murderer in life to stalker in death, yup I can see that. Definitely can see that. I mean, come on, first he visits Brambleclaw and Hawkfrost, then he visits Tawnypelt (horary for Tawnypelt for being the ONLY smart on in the bunch, must be a tom thing to fall for that idiot…), and then he chills with Jayfeather and finally settling on Lionblaze. Yeah, like that forbidden love thing, this let's-make-Tigerstar-the-bad-guy thing ('cause _nobody _will _ever _suspect _that_)is getting old too. Apparently he stalks kittens (Berrynose and Poppyfrost's kittens to be exact – just when you thought there couldn't be any more angst surrounding those darn kittens, there's _more_!) in _The_ _Fourth Apprentice _or something odd like that… Yeah, that's _exactly _what I thought.

If this annoying tendency to be involved in _everything _wasn't enough, his darn personality is underdeveloped! I mean, come on, there are enough inconsistencies in it to make your head spin! Seriously! Think about this one: he becomes leader of ShadowClan and then…guess what…he decides to KILL ALL THE HALF-CLAN CATS!! EARTH TO TIGERSTAR YOU ARE A HALF-CLAN CAT NOW YOU DUMBIE! So, my idiotic, too evil friend, if you truly believed in your own principles, you would have to kill _yourself_. So, yes, Ms. Hunter, it makes _perfect _sense to have him wage war against half-clan cats (yes, I realize that, if you read into it too much, which sometimes I do, you could say this is to prove that he isn't one and doesn't believe in it but, still, it _still _leads to having to kill himself…). On top of that, he falls in love with a freaking rogue. And not just any rogue but freaking _Sasha_. _WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? _Yes, I _know _that it's to prove he'll do whatever he'll feel like but this also goes against his principles because now he's going to have HALF-CLAN KITS! Oh, Tigerstar, you idiot, you can't even adhere to your own principles. And for _Sasha _no less!

My biggest problem with the whole Tigerclaw-is-totally-_not_-evil-we-must-trust-him and then the inevitable conclusion of OMG-how-could-we-not-tell-that-he-was-totally-_evil_-he's-the-cause-of-_all_-our problems was that it was so darn obvious that it was going to turn out that way. I knew he was going to try to kill Bluestar, I knew that the amazingly awesome wonder cat Firestar would save her from him. How could you not? Because, Ms. Hunter was hoping that we'd be like, aw…Tigerclaw is just so totally adorable we should totally _trust _him 'cause Ravenpaw's just a TRAIN WRECK. *_snort_* Right…

And then, so we could have more Firestar vs. Tigerclaw EPIC DRAMA he had to go and TAKE OVER SHADOWCLAN! (Why didn't the medicine cats be like, uh, he's pure freaking evil we shouldn't let him in our Clan? Probably because that medicine cat was Runningnose lol…) And of course ShadowClan was like _YAY! NEW LEADER! He can't be evil. I mean, it makes no sense whatsoever that he's suddenly able to take us over but, what the hey! HE MUST NOT BE EVIL AND PLOTTING TO DESTROY THE FOREST. _

ShadowClan you dummies! How could you _not _see that you were helping to set up the EPIC SHOWDOWN between Fire_star _and Tiger_star_? Granted, I didn't think he'd be like, oh, let me go get some (random) clan called BloodClan (like the name didn't tell you there were pure evil, more evil than even you) because they'll _totally _listen to me 'cause I'm so gosh darn AWESOME (even though I've failed _epically _at every little scheme I've hatched (did you notice that too, how his plans are always thwarted by the amazingly awesome wonder cat Firestar?)). What I did see coming after he did that was that he'd get killed by their leader ('cause he's _not _totally awesome and they totally _weren't _planning on listening to him!). Wasn't that kinda random though, it would be so much more epic if Firestar killed him, but, hey, whatever. They got to have their anticlimactic, tense, angst-filled showdown anyway…

So, to sum this all up, Tigerstar was put into the series to stalk kittens, have EPIC showdowns with Firestar and always get thwarted in the end (he's like "_I would've gotten away with it to, if it weren't for that meddling kittypet and his little sidekick!_") but always keep trying (even in _death_), and to not be a totally obviously evil plot device to make Firestar look AMAZING. Oh, and to, of course, get (randomly) killed by the (random) BloodClan so that Firestar wouldn't be a freaking murder and can look even _more _AMAZING 'cause he didn't kill him (no blood on the paws, sounds like Firestar to me…) and actually mourned him (what a nice cat)…


	8. Littlecloud!

_**Picking on…Littlecloud! **_

_Just because I wanted to lol…_

_Ramblings about how Littlecloud is _too _normal given his history and about the very odd inconsistencies in his adorably perfect and just plain nice personality… _

Okay, I absolutely _love _Littlecloud. He's been my favorite character since we first saw him as an adorably fluffy and cute three moon old apprentice at a Gathering. And then I had to ask myself, how is _he _one of the only _normal _characters in this whole series and the cynic in me came out.

Because, _how _I ask, has he not either a) gone completely insane or on a killing spree or b) pull a Hollyleaf on us and run into a random tunnel in an attempt to kill himself? How is _he _one of the few normal characters? Here's the list of all the horrible things he's gone through in his life:

1) He was forced into apprenticeship at three moons old (and he was already _tiny_). He was also forced to eat crowfood and got beaten up by his incredibly evil mentor Clawface (yes, the Clawface that killed Spottedleaf, how did Littlecloud turn out normal with him as his mentor??)

2) He nearly got killed by a disease because nobody cared enough about him to try to save him.

3) His best friend, Whitethroat, got hit by a car.

4) He couldn't be with his true love, Cinderpelt, who, to add insult to injury, didn't even feel the same way about him.

5) Tigerstar took over his clan (to, as I just explained, have an EPIC showdown with Firestar, of course).

6) He became a medicine cat to be with Cinderpelt…and then she got killed by a badger and reincarnated as Cinderheart so he can't even talk to her in StarClan (wow that _really _adds insult to injury).

7) Blackstar is his leader (enough said).

8) Sol (randomly) tried to destroy his clan.

Can somebody _please _explain to me why this cat is one of the few consistently sane ones in the story? 'Cause I'm kind of confused. Other cats who haven't gone through _half _of what he's been through (yes, Jayfeather, just because you're blind doesn't mean it's the end of the world and you shouldn't get to have an attitude and be all emo, and yes, Hollyleaf, I know the Warrior Code is your entire _life _but, _really_? Being a half-clan cat totally isn't the end of the world in ThunderClan where basically _every _cat is half-clan or half-kittypet anymore so that's _no _reason to start foaming at the mouth and (randomly) kill yourself) are really messed up, and he's completely _normal_. Yeah, that makes sense.

I mean, granted, Ms. Hunter, I _know _Littlecloud's function is to be the adorably cute, really fluffy, tiny and just freaking awesome and nice ShadowClan medicine cat (that's another problem, he's from _Shadow_Clan, and he's adorably small, fluffy and _nice _– I thought ShadowClan cats were supposed to be mean spirited, evil and violent, and _Clawface _was his mentor so where is this all coming from? _Where_? Oh, and (wow I'm on a tangent) I bet all the ShadowClan cats were happy when he became a medicine cat (for Cinderpelt) so that all of these adorably fluffy and small genes got out of their dark, disturbed and nasty gene pool lol.) but _really_? When I read each book, I _always_ am sad that Littlecloud isn't a main character (not just because he's my favorite) because there is _so _much you could talk about with him. I mean, come on, he's like the awesomely fluffy medicine cat that's got every possible plot line included in his epic story. And he's refreshingly _normal _and we don't see that anymore in this story, even if the fact that he's so normal doesn't make _any _sense.

And then I find out that he uses deathberries. _Deathberries_.

_What_? That came out of _nowhere_. I mean, seriously? The adorably small, fluffy, wouldn't-harm-a-fly, perfectly _normal _medicine cat likes to play g-d? Now, Ms. Hunter, I'm not _stupid_; I realize that this deathberry thing was supposed to make Leafpool and ThunderClan look that much more AWESOME (starting to notice how all ShadowClan cats share this function?) but _Littlecloud_? But….but…but, he's so fluffy and _cute_! I mean, come on, it would've made so much more sense if Mothwing used deathberries ('cause she's a TRAIN WRECK as is) or if Kestrelflight and Barkface used them (because they have _no _established personalities anywhere so it wouldn't have come out of nowhere) but you had to go mess with Littlecloud's absolutely perfect character. I mean, granted, he's such a minor character nobody would notice this really weird discrepancy in his character (except for me of course, 'cause I read _way _too far into things) but _still_?

Okay, having one of the nicest and most _normal _characters in the book use deathberries really makes ThunderClan look _that _much more amazing, but, I've got a hunch that this deathberry thing is actually a sign that… (drum roll please!!)

LITTLECLOUD IS PURE _EVIL_! 'CAUSE IT MAKES _SOOOOOOO_ MUCH SENSE!

You see, Littlecloud only _acts _all nice and _normal _so that nobody suspects that he's really plotting to kill them all by deathberry ('cause he's too darn small to be able to kill them in battle). You see, he's really an evil mastermind who's plotting to kill _everyone _because he's so darn _tired _of being seen as so adorably fluffy and cute and he wants REVENGE for all the bad things that have happened to him, and, well, Clawface _was _his mentor so he learned from one of the most evil cats _ever_…

So, to sum this all up, Littlecloud = Napoleon and is secretly plotting to destroy all the Clans (in the end, Ms. Hunter's going to be like _darn it, I don't know how it actually _end _this thing (see the next two planned series as evidence) _and will say to herself, _wait a minute, Littlecloud is so perfectly nice and normal but his past is so messed up I know…I'll end it with him destroying everything! Because _nobody _will see that coming! _(unlike in Tigerstar's case). Just kidding. But wouldn't that be _hilarious_. So, to really sum this all up, Littlecloud is one of few absolutely _normal _characters (even though his past is so darn messed up) and is there to be adorably cute, fluffy and nice. Enough said…Or _is _it?

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_Wow, that was a lot of fun! Writing two of these in one night was epically fun! Keep checking back and reviewing! I want to know what you think, and I want to know who you all want me to write about. So keep giving me suggestions! All are appreciated! Next up will be Purdy (thanks to Avatar2016 and strawberrypaw) so keep checking back! Oh, and keep telling me what you think about my writing, because a writer who gets reviews is a happy writer and will keep writing…The button is right there calling your name (lol). _

_Until next time and always appreciating you taking time out of your busy day to read these…_

_~Moore12~ _


	9. Purdy!

_**Picking on...Purdy!**_

_Thanks to Avatar2016 and strawberrypaw for the suggestion! _

_Ramblings about how Purdy is possibly the most annoying character EVER and why in the world he needed to be (randomly) put into the story..._

Ms. Hunter, I have one question for you. Actually I have many questions for you, but this one has caused me to a) sit there pondering if this is yet another sign of the Apocalypse or b) bang my head against the nearest relatively hard surface I can find. The question you're wondering? Well…I can sum the gist of it up in four measly words:

WHY _DOES _PURDY EXIST?

If any of my loyal readers have the answer to this question (something I highly doubt), please tell me. Because I honestly don't know what Purdy's purpose is, and I'm starting to believe there really isn't one, except maybe to _annoy _us.

This cat's existence doesn't make any sense in the first place, seeing as how the group could've probably found their way out of the twoleg place on their own (and a heck of a lot _faster _too so we wouldn't have had to sit there twiddling our thumbs being like ooh, they _still_don't know where they are!) but, hey, Purdy just _had _to come to their _rescue _(if you could call _that _a _rescue_, it was more like just plain _torture_) and we just had to sit through way too many pages of him giving them really (random) stupid advice and talking about how (randomly) awesome he is(n't). Ms. Hunter, I must ask: IS THIS A CRUEL SICK JOKE? ARE YOU _TRYING _TO LOSE READERS?

Maybe they thought the accent was cute and the idea of an elderly but still tough and slightly rugged (?????) cat was something _new _and _fresh _but, _really_? _REALLY_? Have you no respect for your loyal fan base? Do you think we're stupid enough to be like, *_squeal* AW, isn't he the CUTEST thing you've ever seen? He's all spunky and old! YEA WE WUVE PURDY! _

Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, WRONG! He's not interesting, he's not cool, he's not spunky or cute; he's just FREAKING _ANNOYING_!

The worst part about Purdy is that he doesn't seem to understand that _NOBODY _likes him! Yes, I know that's sad, and, yes, I know he was lonely, and, yes, I realize that we're supposed to be like *_loud hurrah* YEA! Isn't ThunderClan so awesomely awesome and nice to let Purdy come join their clan! Aren't they wunderful? Bestest Clan ever! _but…no. NO! This is NOT a good thing! This just epitomizes _everything _that has gone wrong with ThunderClan! They're like *_sob* oh, poor little guy, he's covered with ticks and other disgusting things, looks like he hasn't washed himself in _years_, talks _way _too much and with a rather annoying accent, and is practically _useless_because he's so darn old (regardless of what he says), *light bulb goes off above their heads* Let's let him be in ThunderClan!!!! 'Cause that makes _all _the sense in the world! _

And we though _Daisy _was bad…at least _she does SOMETHING _(_whatever _that_ something _may be). Because there was absolutely NO reason to let Purdy be in ThunderClan. NONE! (if you know why they let Purdy into ThunderClan(and don't give me the aw they're so compassionate argument, 'cause I'm not _stupid_) please tell me! I can't figure it out!). All he does is sit around, whine about other cats being stupid (he's one to talk…lol…), be another anti-StarClan cat (just when you thought there were too many of them) and eat all their prey and get fat (under the ThunderClan allegiances in _Fourth Apprentice _it says he's "_plump_" (yeah, letting a cat who did _nothing _for you over the years sit around and be and elder (isn't that supposed to be an _honor_?)and eat all your food makes _total _sense, Firestar. You're getting dumber with every book that passes).

Oh, and what was up with his love fest with Sol? Ya know what, that was so _weird _I'm not even going to _try _to explain it… Not even going to _start _down _that _road. This _is _rated T…

Oh, and did any of you notice the irony of his name. Purdy? You called _him _Purdy? *_hysterical laughter_* Yeah _that _makes sense. He's hardly pretty!

So, to sum this all up, I _think _Purdy was supposed to be a plot device but failed spectacularly. I also _think _we were supposed to be like he's so gosh darn _cute _'cause he's old and he's still fighting even though his twoleg died. Finally, I _think _we're supposed to be _happy _that ThunderClan took him in (why I don't know…) because it shows they're all compassionate and awesome (and so totally not Mary Sue). Oh, and I guess there had to be _one _cat who liked Sol so I _guess _he serves that purpose too. But, really, he's just completely useless, stupid, a failure as a character and…_just freaking ANNOYING! _

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_Next up will be… (drum roll please)… Spiderleg (thanks to Birchsong, who was my first reviewer!) so keep checking back. After that will probably be Crowfeather (thanks to stawberrypaw, Sunstream, Willowpaw-Xzera-Razo and tearsofwolves). After Crowfeather will be DAISY ('cause you basically all asked for me to make fun of her (oh, when I actually write it I will thank everyone who asked for it (it'll probably be like two pages lol))…Glad you all are enjoying this! _

_Until next time, and always reminding you that the nice little Review Story button is right there (and I'm still taking suggestions for the chapters after these so I still want your feedback, as always)…_

_~Moore12~ _


	10. Spiderleg!

_**Picking on…Spiderleg**_

_Thanks to Birchsong for the suggestion!_

_Wow, 53 reviews! Never thought that this would be so popular. And, as always, keep telling me who I should write about, even though the next two installments are set (will be Crowfeather and Daisy so keep checking back). _

_  
Please forgive typos (have no time to check and I really wanted to get this up to not keep you all waiting any longer…)_

_Ramblings about how Spiderleg is a pointless and rather random character because he's basically a clone of his dad, and, of course, why he mated with Daisy…_

Okay, wow, Spiderleg, to me, is the epitome of the virtually useless character. Because about all he's ever done is mate with Daisy, which is just _WRONG_! I mean, come on, we've seen Spiderleg since the beginning of the second series, back when he was still Spiderpaw and I still liked him because he was kind of adorably cute (like all other apprentices). What has he done since then? Pretty much morphed into another Dustpelt, but a much dumber version. He's like Dustpelt version -5.0. And, yes, that _is_ a negative sign.

Granted, I actually like Dustpelt. I find him to be hysterically funny because he's actually got the nerve to stand up to Mr. I'm-so-perfect-and-awesome-and-totally-not-Mary-Sue-despite-what-you-all-are-probably-thinking-by-this-point-in-the-series-and-am-the-_bestest_-cat-EVER, and I really do believe that he mated with Ferncloud just to keep the _real _ThunderClan blood alive (even though he epically failed at this because Spiderleg mated with freaking _Daisy _(randomly) and Birchfall fell for Whitewing (to produce next prophecy kit YEA!)). But Spiderleg, Spiderleg is a whole different story.

Yes, he's got his father's tendency to question Mr. why-doesn't-anybody-like-me-anymore-when-I'm-clearly-the-bestest-cat-ever-and-_made_-this-series, and, yes, he's got his father's biting attitude (something he _didn't_ have as an apprentice, by the way, what is _up_ with that personality change?) and I was really starting to think that he was going to be the next Dustpelt when he finally gets picked off because Ms. Hunter decides that she's growing tired of having himquestion Mr. I'm-the-greatest-thing-since-sliced-bread-(whatever-that-is-…) and needs a dumber cat to do so just to make Mr. Look-at-me-aren't-I-wonderful look better.

And then he had to go and mate with Daisy. He just _had _to go and mate with freaking _Daisy_. Talk about a random, epically pointless plot line. DaisyXSpider? What is _up_ with that? That doesn't make any freaking sense? Ms. Hunter, what _were _you thinking (if you actually were) when you decided to have Spiderleg be Daisy's mate? Because that made absolutely _no _sense and pretty much came out of leftfield.

Here is my epically awesome version of Spiderleg's courtship of Daisy:

_Spiderleg: *stammers awkwardly* Daisy, you don't understand, I have feelings for you that I just can't understand. I-I-I think I _love _you. _

_Daisy: *swoons* Oh, Spiderleg, I always dreamed of the day you'd say that to me! I mean, I didn't know your name until yesterday, and Smoky and my kits pretty much just left the nursery but, hey, I knew the moment I learned your name yesterday that I wanted to be with you…_

_Spiderleg: *interjects excitedly* Oh, Daisy! If you only knew how strong the feels I have for you are! I knew the moment I saw you, 'cause I fell in love with your fat creamy body, how you actually have some meat on your bones, my fat little kitty-pet princess. *aside, scathingly indignant* Wait 'til Daddy find out 'bout this one. I can't _wait_ to see the look on his face! _

—_A few weeks later—_

_Daisy: *very excitedly, bordering on joyously* Spiderleg! I'm going to have your kits! Isn't that wunderful my wittle, hunky Spiderleg. _

_Spiderleg: *loud slightly sorrowful though mainly angry yowl* NOOOOOOOOOOOO! It can't be! All of this was a joke! A BIG JOKE! Now nobody will want me *goes into corner to sulk*_

Wouldn't it have been epically hilarious if Ms. Hunter had actually included this courtship in the book instead of one day just adding it (randomly) to the book? I mean, come on, it would've been _hilarious_! Even though it would've been hilarious, I really can't understand what in the world was going on their collective heads when they added this pairing to the story. SpiderXDaisy? When Spiderleg could've probably had so many better cats in ThunderClan (and, hey, since he's ThunderClan, any other Clan as well… 'Cause, you know, they don't got to follow no Warrior Code 'cause they're too freaking awesome!)? _Really_? _DAISY? _

What I hated most about this whole thing was that Spiderleg pretty much refused to be a father and pretty much denied that anything had ever happened between him and Daisy even though there was pretty ample prove that something _had _happened. The proof is called Rosekit and Toadkit. And, yet, he still tries to deny it. Wow, Spiderleg is a _total _idiot. Oh, and poor Rosekit and Toadkit, they are going to be_ so _messed up when they get older…

Now, Ms. Hunter, I understand that _somebody _had to be a bad parent, that it couldn't be all roses and sunshine and buttercups in the wonderful, amazing and totally not Mary Sue ThunderClan. I understand that Spiderleg is pretty much showing that Mr. I'm-such-a-good-parent-as-well-as-a-leader-YEA-ME is just so much more amazing than we had ever though (because good parents are _totally _underappreciated in these stories). I understand that, in a way, it foreshadows the CrowXLeaf kit debacle 'cause it's all about unwanted kits and such. But Spiderleg and _Daisy_? Spiderleg, the son of Dustpelt (who's got that noble (though slightly evil) plan to restore ThunderClan to its noble roots and absolutely hates kittypets), and _Daisy_? Spiderleg, who sneers at anybody who breaks the Warrior code and at kittypets with _Daisy_? I can't be the only one who didn't see this coming until it was (randomly) announced one (random) day.

Seriously, there was potential for Spiderleg. He could've mated with another pure ThunderClan cat and kept his father's tradition alive so one day there could be an epically awesome showdown between pure ThunderClan cats and those annoying half-Clan and half-kittypet cats that have pretty much taken over ThunderClan since Mr. I-think-I-might-be-a-g-d became leader. Now wouldn't that be cooler than having a SpiderXDaisy pairing? Now that would've been EPIC! I can almost picture it now (and Dustpelt becomes Duststar and _finally _ThunderClan can _be THUNDERCLAN _and not KittypetClan again…). Too bad he had to get with Daisy and make the personality-less Rosekit and the really annoying Toadkit. So sad…

So, to sum this all up, Spiderleg is pretty much a clone of his father, except that he had to (randomly) go mate with Daisy to make all Warriors readers inwardly groan (and those who real fans go slam their head up against the nearest hard object repeatedly in an attempt to forget that that (randomly) happened).

* * *

_Okay, that one was pretty difficult to write seeing as how we rarely see Spiderleg. But it was fun because it's kind of a precursor to the "Picking on…Daisy" edition that is coming soon. Oh, and I _still _have no clue of why he got with Daisy. Don't ask me. _

_Oh, and I'm sorry if this one isn't as funny as usual. IDK, it just was a lot more difficult to write. Hope you all enjoyed it though and that it wasn't anticlimactic for you. _

_Until the next installment, and hoping you keep giving me advice and keep reviewing (because a happy writer who gets many reviews keeps writing…). _

_~Moore12~ _


	11. The Stick!

_**Picking on…the stick! **_

_Thanks to strawberrypaw for the suggestion!_

_I don't have time to write Crowfeather's at the moment (because it will be a novel) but don't worry, it is coming soon! Probably will be up by Sunday at the latest. So, I decided to take strawberrypaw's suggestions and write a short one about the stick. Enjoy! Crowfeather and Daisy coming soon! They will both be EPIC because I'm spending time planning them and everything! _

_Oh, this one is really sarcastic, and is meant to be for fun, so please no flames. IT IS MEANT TO BE FOR FUN! I don't actually think these things, it's just to make you all laugh! _

_Ramblings about why Ms. Hunter just _had _to go make Jayfeather fall in love with a stick and why it doesn't really work in the story…_

The stick…Where do I start? Out of all the (randomly) annoying things that Ms. Hunter tried to use as plot ploys to _*cough, cough* _insult our intelligence, this one bothered me the most. Because it is really pointless and merely leads down an incredibly random plot line…

We first met sticky as a young twig _*cough, cough* _many, many, many, many (before even _Firestar _was born for StarClan's sake!) seasons ago, in a dark underground cave where it was used to mark whether or not a softpaw lived or died in the tunnels. First of all, if sticky is_ that _old (older than even _Firestar_) why does it still exist? 'Cause, I took biology and art history and the last time I checked wood _rots_. So, sticky wouldn't have _*cough, cough* lived _this long because it would've _rotted_. So, why Ms. Hunter, did ya make it a _stick_? Why not, I don't know, something that actually would have lasted that long, like a shard of stone or something. 'Cause, trust me, those darn detritivores and decomposers would've decomposed it by now (_that _I learned in Environmental Science, are you now seeing how going to school and learning makes The Warriors series look bad? Did the Erins go to school?).

Not only is sticky magical ('cause it _must _be for it to have lived longer than _Firestar_) but it's got an awesome personality. I mean, it's a good listener, it's got a long, interesting past, it's got the power to make any cat fall in love with it. What a catch for Jayfeather! It must be the only thing that _doesn't _scream "RUN AWAY" and runs away from him when he opens his mouth. Lionblaze must be _so _jealous. Wait a second…Jayfeather is a _medicine cat _am I sensing another case of forbidden love? JayXStick, hey, it's got a certain ring to it. And, it's better than his womanizing daddy's CrowXNight and his womanizing daddy's other son's BreezeXHeather. Heck, I think that sticky and Jayfeather were _destined _for each other. I mean, Jayfeather almost drowned to save sticky, so that just shows you how *_cough, cough* _much in _love _they are.

Yes, Ms. Hunter, I understand that old, quiet sticky was meant to be a plot ploy, helping Jayfeather to (randomly) discover another world of cats so he could (randomly) meet Fallen Leaves and (randomly) become obsessed with the ancient cats and (randomly) become Jay's Wing and lead the Tribe of Rushing Water (is _that _there name? I can never remember, they, like sticky, were _random_) to the mountains. I get it. But did ya have to make his love for an inanimate object so apparent? I mean, it's weird. He's in love with an inanimate object. Okay then…

So, to sum this all up, the stick should've rotted and should, for this reason, be a nonissue, is in an incredibly (randomly) odd and one-sided relationship with Jayfeather, and is yet another example of a spectacularly failed plot ploy (if you want to hear about other spectacularly failed plot ploys see Spottedleaf, Tigerstar, and Purdy – but at least _they _were _alive_!). Yeah… Good job Ms. Hunter. Once again insult our intelligence why don't you?

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_Hope you enjoyed it! I felt bad updating my other story (Falling Shadows – you all REALLY should check it out, it's really good) and writing a one-shot (As I lay dying) without updating this one b/c you all are such great reviewers. 59 reviews! YEA! Keep reviewing, I love hearing your suggestions and your advice. _

_Oh, like I said earlier Crowfeather is coming soon (I wanted it to be good, so I'm taking my time on it b/c so many people asked for it) and so is Daisy (like Crowfeather's I want it to be good) so keep checking back! _

_Until next time, and hoping you will keep reviewing (and check out Falling Shadows) because a happy writer is one who gets reviews…_

_~Moore12~_


	12. Crowfeather!

_**Picking on…Crowfeather **_

_Thanks to Willowpaw-Xzera-Razo, Tearsofwolves, Randomness890, and strawberrypaw for the suggestion! Oh, and so sorry this is so late it's the end of a trimester and I've been swamped._

_I think this one in particular is going to earn the rating of T, just to let you know. Don't say I didn't warn you…Please no flames because of it. THIS IS RATED T!! _

_Ramblings about how Crowfeather is far too much of a player and how so many of his (random) relationships are so totally _wrong _and what his function could possibly be (other than just be a player)…_

Initially, I loved Crowpaw. He was absolutely hilarious! I mean, come on, how couldn't you love Crowpaw? He was all like _*menacing growl* you ain't the boss of me! _and _*bitingly sarcastic* Oh, who died and made _you _leader, Brambleclaw? _Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. I mean, I love Brambleclaw, but seriously, throughout that first book he was all like _ooh, look at me I'm so awesome I got a sign from StarClan! _and who better than the scrawny, sharp-tongued WindClan apprentice to put him in his place. Sheer genius, Ms. Hunter, sheer genius. Looks like big bad Brambleclaw's got a wittle bitty problem.

And I thought FeatherXCrow was cute. I know I'm cynical and bitingly sarcastic, but I _liked _FeatherXCrow almost as much as I liked CinderXLittle (and that, as you probably have all figured out by now means _a lot_). I loved Feathertail, and I thought that she and Crowpaw were absolutely _adorable _together. I mean, they were like ying and yang. Perfect.

Sometimes I feel like I should always put in my disclaimers: _**I obviously don't own Warriors because, if I did, Feathertail would be alive and she and Crowpaw **_(who knows what his really name would've been had she not died) _**would be together! **_Because _that_, my friends, makes _COMPLETE _sense. Granted, Ms. Hunter, I thought that his taking "feather" as the suffix of his name was adorable, but still…Did you have to make Feathertail die? Because that _completely _ruined Crowfeather.

I know I normally complain about really clichéd forbidden love scenarios. But this one really gets on my nerves. I know you already know exactly what I'm thinking about…

_LEAFXCROW!? WHERE THE HECK DID _THAT _COME FROM? _

No, wait…It makes _complete _sense! WHAT? You might be wondering. Isn't this coming from the person who keeps telling us that there are so many plot problems with the Warriors Series it would take you weeks list find them all, who keeps talking about how clichéd forbidden love has become, who reminded you all of the (random) obvious (but always failing) plot ploys the three Hunters seem to think constitute _real _story telling? Yup, it is. And _that's _why it makes sense…

I got a wittle secret for ya, something that Ms. Hunter doesn't want us to know (especially all of you out there who like LeafXCrow). She is ONCE AGAIN INSULTING OUR INTELLIGENCE! What _else _is _new_?

Because this makes _NO _sense. Don't even _try _to tell me otherwise. Let me explain. One day, out of nowhere, Crowfeather (randomly) decides that he likes _Leafpool_. Because _that _makes sense. I don't know, maybe his love of Leafpool came out of some (random) feelings he had for Squirrelflight who was _*cough, cough* off limits _('cause Brambleclaw's got clingy issues). But, the truth is, THIS IS ANOTHER PLOT PLOY.

I _guess _if you want to continue to belief Ms. Hunter views us as intelligent human beings that you could, in theory at least, say this wasn't entirely random. I mean she sorta-kinda-wittle-bit set it up when Leafpool (still Leafpaw then) (randomly) ran into Crowfeather at the lake and was like _Feathertail is still watching you_. I guess, if you _really _wanted to believe _this _makes sense you could be like _*swoon* aren't they so cute? Leafpool helped Crowfeather realize that Feathertail is still with him! Aw…Now _that's _a pairing that makes sense! _

WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG WRONG!

Whether you want to believe it or not, whether you want to remain in denial (with the hippopotamuses lol…), this is WRONG! Out of nowhere, Crowfeather (after saving her life, of course, 'cause that totally _isn't _clichéd) is like _*slightly manly gushing* oh, Leafpool, we barely know each other, I pretty much just met you like two moons ago, and I really actually love Feathertail (and sorta-kinda-wittle-bit loved your sis) but I LOVE YOU! _And then, of course, 'cause this is how it _always _works, Leafpool is like _*swoon* oh, Crowfeather, I love you too. I know I used to absolutely despise you and you were the mousebile (lol…) of my existence, but now, _NOW _I love you. _Uh…right. Am I the _only _one who threw up in my mouth a little (and also died a little bit on the inside) when Crowfeather (randomly) said (on pg. 311 of Starlight (can't say I didn't cite it lol)) "Don't you know how I feel about you? And how much I hate myself for feeling that way about another cat so soon after Feathertail's death? I loved her, I really did! How can I love you too?" This was _horrible_. Worst plot ploy yet. Worse than even that freaking Purdy or the blatantly obvious Tigerstar. HORRIBLE!

So, since this relationship is already completely messed up and random enough (and also because, as they have to split the dough three ways, they must keep writing random books and pick our pockets with clichéd plots like this) they just _had _to go have kits. What happened to Crow_paw_? What happened to him? Was he abducted by aliens or something? Because this Crowfeather is _NOT _Crow_paw_, he's just a freaking tool. There, I said it. He's a _tool. _(This is why it's rated T so no flames please…). BECAUSE HE JUST _HAD _TO DO IT WITH LEAFPOOL AND HAVE THOSE THREE LITTLE NIGHTMARES! I'm surprised Feathertail hasn't come back from StarClan to claw his eyes out yet. I know _I _would if I were her.

If Crowfeather wasn't a complete idiot, we wouldn't have to suffer through the glory that is the lives of Jayfeather (the cursed little emo he is, who is in love with a STICK for StarClan's sake), Hollyleaf (is that even her name? to me all she is is that dumb cat who's like "WARRIOR CODE = EVERYTHING!) and Lionblaze (don't even get me started, don't even go there). And, of course, this is YET AGAIN (in case you haven't figured it out yet, I will spell it out for you) another plot ploy 'cause Brambleclaw and Squirrelflight couldn't have _possibly _had the three prophecy kits because then, well, THEY'D BE NORMAL! AND, HECK, WE NEED EVEN _MORE _ANGST IN THIS FREAKING STORY! (If you knew that Leafpool and Crowfeather were the parents of Lionblaze, Hollyleaf, and Jayfeather by the end of _The Sight_, please feel free to copy and paste this into your profile, because that means you are _totally _in tune with the stupidity that the Hunters try to feed us).

And to think I liked Crowfeather once. And then he just _had_ to go and mate with _Leafpool_, forsaking Feathertail who he should've been with. He just had to have three little nightmares for kits. And _just _when you thought it couldn't get any worse, out of _complete _nowhere (this is even WORSE than LeafXCrow) he had to go and mate with _Nightcloud _the most protective and just plain annoying cat ever created. CrowXNight, _that_ makes _sense_? OMG the Apocalypse is coming! How the heck does _that _make sense? Here is my attempt at explaining Crowfeather's thought process (note that this is merely an _attempt _because I'm under the impression that _NOBODY _(not even _*cough, cough* _the _Hunters_) can explain what's going on in that head of his):

_Well, I can't be with Feathertail 'cause she's dead. And Leafpool, well…That didn't really work out. Not at all what I expected from her. Thought she'd be more like her sis. Oh well… *sigh* Guess I need to pick a mate in my own Clan, except I really don't like skinny she-cats. There's not much there. Well…*light bulb goes off above his head* I know! I'll mate with Nightcloud. 'Cause _that _would really annoy all of the loyal readers of this series. And then, *maniacal laughter* I'll completely ignore her and my kits, except when it's convenient for me to be like, uh, we're together. YEA! Crowfeather, you are such a player! _

CROWFEATHER YOU PERVERT! And to think I once liked you. Oh, and don't try to tell me this is about loyalty or because he's just a poor wittle confused putty cat. He's a player. Enough said. (Oh, and for those of you who have read _Cats of the Clans _that little quote about Crowfeather just proves that Rock has no clue what the heck he's talking about. Crowfeather lost his chance at happiness when Feathertail died, not when he let go of Leafpool 'cause they were just together to be a plot ploy and _that_,in my book at least, doesn't constitute a match made in StarClan. It was a match made by the Hunters.).

And, of course, he had to have another mildly psychotic, rather annoying kit to go with the other three nightmares: a little monster named Breezepelt (you may have heard of him…). Great…_More_ angst. _Just _what we needed, 'cause good story telling contains enough angst to choke you. Thanks, Crowfeather.

So, to sum this all up, Crowfeather is merely a player who's had many psychotic kits (Breezepelt, Jayfeather, Lionblaze, and Hollyleaf – man this cat has some really _bad _genes), had too many relationships (CrowXFeather, CrowXLeaf, CrowXNight, (and, if you want to count it, slight CrowXSquirrel), and, like so many other characters, had the change to actually be an amazing character (better than even _Firestar *cough, cough*_) but had his chance to be an amazing character blown because the Hunters need more cash 'cause they've got to split it all three ways. Crow_paw _R.I.P. You're yet another plot ploy. Now, please, stop having kits. Oh, I'm not _asking_, I'm _telling_.

* * *

_Hey guys-_

_Hope you enjoyed it and hope it was worth the wait! I worked really hard on this one, so I hope it what you all were hoping it would be. Coming sometime next week is Daisy so stay tuned. After Daisy will be…(drum roll please!)…Rock! So keep checking back. _

_Once again, sorry for the delay. Hope you enjoyed it! Until next time, and always appreciating you reading this (and reviewing – 75 reviews! YEA!)…_

_~Moore12~_


	13. Rippletail!

_**Picking on…Rippletail! **_

_**SPOILER ALERT**__**: IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THE NEWEST BOOK (the Fourth Apprentice) AND HAVE NO IDEA WHO RIPPLETAIL IS DO **__**NOT **__**PROCEED ANY FURTHER! THIS HAS MAJOR SPOILERS IN IT, AND I DON'T WANT TO RUIN THE LATEST INSTALLMENT IN THE WARRIORS SERIES FOR YOU!! **_

_Thanks to the latest book for inspiring this…_

_Hi guys, I'm finally back! Had a really really really important essay to write that's basically going to decide my future so I had to concentrate on that. Oh and had to read the latest book too. _

_Okay, I PROMISE that the Daisy one that you all asked for will be up by Thursday or Friday at the latest. And, as always, I am so sorry for the delay because I understand that you really enjoy these. I feel like I'm letting you all down and I'm really sorry. I'll try to be more consistent in the future, I promise. But, because, well, I haven't had time to write an amazing Daisy one I'm going to write about Rippletail. _

_**SECOND SPOILER ALERT**__**: IF YOU PROCEED FURTHER I AM **__**NOT **__**RESPONSIBLE FOR GIVING AWAY THE ENDING OR PARTS OF THE NEWEST BOOK TO YOU! CONSIDER YOURSELF WARNED!! End of spoiler alert…Proceed at your own risk if you haven't read the newest book… Can't say I didn't warn you! **_

_**THIRD (AND FINAL) SPOILER ALERT:THIS IS YOUR LAST WARNING! THE FIRST SENTENCE HAS A MAJOR SPOILER IN IT! STOP NOW OR KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN!!COME BACK WHEN YOU HAVE READ THE FOURTH APPRENTICE BECAUSE YOU WILL LOVE THIS!! Trust me...**_

_Ramblings about how Rippletail's death, while tragic, was so clichéd and how every journey always seems to have a martyr anymore…_

In this rare instance, I am NOT going to spend a lot of time complaining about the character himself. Because, well, we hardly got to know him. So, I'm going to let a dead cat rest in peace.

_R.I.P. Rippletail, we hardly knew you but you seemed pretty darn cool, I _guess_…_

Phew, now that I got that out of the way, I had _so _many problems with the latest installment. I mean, it was essentially the same exact thing as the first two books of the second series (which was, in my humble opinion the _last_ consistently good series), squished into one rather trivial and clichéd book. About beavers. Yes, the cats take on beavers! You never saw _that _coming, did you? 'Cause that was the only thing I didn't see coming in this until Dovepaw was like the "big brown animals" are blocking the lake! And I was like DID YOU HAVE TO TELL ME! 'Cause this is already easy enough to figure out what's going to happen already!

After Dovepaw, who we learned as the awesomely amazing ability to sense EVERYTHING (wow isn't _that_ cool), figures out that "the big brown animals" (*_cough, cough* _they're freaking _beavers_, wow, _beavers_ exciting stuff, huh?) are blocking the river and have caused the lake to *_gasp_* dry up, the Clans each send two representatives to go on an awesomely amazing journey to rescue all the Clans and learn how to work together (where have we seen _this _before? Is there no original thought anymore??). One of these cats I think was named Rippletail. I _think_.

You see, my fellow Warriors fans, Ms. Hunter had to go and pick the most _random_cats ever to go on this little journey. From RiverClan they sent Rippletail (who?) and Petalfur (who??), from WindClan they sent Whitetail (who??? I looked back and saw that she actually was in the second series but we never saw her and then was like WHO????) and I think the other one's name was Sedgewhisker or something (who????) and from ShadowClan they sent Tigerheart and Toadfoot (finally some cats I've freaking heard of!). And, of course, from the awesomely amazing totally not Mary Sue ThunderClan they sent *_gasp* DOVEPAW AND LIONBLAZE_! Never saw _that _coming. _No_… Never in a million years…

Okay, back to Rippletail. So after flipping back to the Allegiances page and being like "who in StarClan's name _is _he?) I was like, okay, I _guess_. I _guess _that could work… And then Ms. Hunter had to spend many pages making sure that he and his Clanmate looked as pathetic and weak as humanly possible! I mean, golly, they couldn't catch anything other than fish, they could barely walk, and they couldn't even climb trees. I mean, I thought cats could _naturally _climb trees but I guess that WindClan and RiverClan cats are too incompetent to. Or else, they've _evolved _so much because of massive _inbreeding _(or is that just happening in ThunderClan I wonder…) and are such _specialists _they can't do it anymore (sorry, I got on a Biology tangent again to try to explain their stupidity, doesn't really hold any water, does it?). Never really tried to establish their personalities like the author of the first and second book of the second series did, nope, just had to make them look _weak AND stupid_! Quite a combo really…

So, Rippletail was _slightly_ useful on the journey, I mean, he did learn _something_about herbs before they left. Unlike his Clanmate, Petalfur, who kept getting into trouble. And Toadfoot who functioned as the new (and _improved_ I bet they were thinking when they wrote this _*cough, cough* NOT!_) Crowpaw! But, what the hey, he was _just _the stupid RiverClan cat who initially thought they were just going to figure out what was wrong and do _nothing _about it. So he's dumb, weak, _and_a coward! Wow, those RiverClan cats ain't what they were before, nope they sure ain't. I thought the leaders (since StarClan _*gasp* _didn't send them on this mission) were supposed to pick their _bestest _warriors to go on this really _really _dangerous mission to take on a dam and some beavers! Guess Leopardstar is losing her mind and really _is_ dying!

Okay, back to Rippletail (is _that_ his _name_? What the heck kind of name is _that_? They sure don't name cats like they used to either, do they?). Uh…what else can I say? Let's see…uh…um…well, you see, he's _really _dumb…uh, he's…um…challenged…and…RIGHT! incompetent and cowardly too. Okay, so…uh…he's got a pretty dumb name…uh…well…you see…_ugh_… I can't think of anything else to say. You wanna know why, folks? Well, here you go, here's the main problem with this book and Rippletail especially is the _epitome _of EVERYTHING that was wrong with this book and this oh so clichéd journey (what is this, the FIFTH (I probably am missing a lot of them) journey that the cats have taken?). Drum roll please…

HE HAS NO PERSONALITY!

That's the problem these days with these books, Ms. Hunter _knows_, folks, that we love this series. She understands that the cats don't have to be interesting or have personalities or awesome pasts (like Feathertail, Stormfur, Tawnypelt, and Brambleclaw all did) that we had already read about. She probably just ran down the list of cat names that she made up over the years with her eyes shut and was like…_who should I pick_…(runs finger over page and stops on…RIPPLETAIL!) _Okay, let's send Rippletail on this mission! Never mind he's never been in a book (except for one as an apprentice before many many books ago) but, hey, nobody's going to notice! Because after they ate up the third series they're clearly too stupid to realize how RANDOM this selection process was. _That's right, folks, we've been had again! She's ONCE AGAIN INSULTING OUR INTELLIGENCE! And it's getting really _really _old (older than even _Firestar_!)

And, in case you thought that this little journey would be kind of cute and awesome (I mean, seriously, how dangerous can _beavers _be?) she had to go and kill off Rippletail (randomly). That's right, folks, we basically _just _met Rippletail, hardly knew him at all, and Ms. Hunter KILLED HIM OFF! Jeez, I was like _who? _when he died. It was possibly the first time I wasn't sad when a character died. Because…well…who _is _Rippletail? Do you know _anything _about him? (Also, wasn't it ironic that she killed off the one character who could've treated any injuries? Well, that's because she _needed _yet another MARTYR!)

_R.I.P. Rippletail, no longer will you be used as a (random) plot ploy to make the ThunderClan cats look that much more AWESOME (because even the _ThunderClan_ apprentice was _better _than you) and to also (randomly) die and be a (random) martyr for a good cause (inspiring all the others to really _really _want to destroy to beavers and their dam (but go about it in a much smarter way that last time!)). R.I.P. Rippletail, we barely knew you. Hey, maybe we'll learn more about you when we have the (randomly) _awesome _fight between the Dark Forest and StarClan! _

So, to sum this all up, Rippletail is a personality less plot ploy (at least all the other plot ploys I talked about during the course of this series had semblances of personalities) and died (ala Feathertail, what a concidence they're _both _RiverClan, wow…that's _original_) to be an awesomely inspiring (random) plot ploy on a (random) mission to fight (random) BEAVERS!

What we learned: BEAVERS ARE KILLERS! Oh, and that Dovepaw has powers and Tigerheart appears to have a thing for her (do I sense yet _another _case of Forbidden love on the horizon? Oh, please, no! No more! What is that the _ELEVENTH _one! Jeez, have an original thought for once…)

One more thing, thank you Briarpaw for pointing it out to me before I got too many hits! This is another case of a cat we've never heard of (ala Rowanclaw who came out of _nowhere _to be Tawnypelt's mate) that comes into the story randomly and actually HAD A SEX CHANGE! (look at Twilight and when Leafpool is helping out Mothwing, Reedwhisker refers to Ripplepaw as HER! (great catch, Briarpaw) Ms. Hunter, you need to do a better job checking your facts! Your incompetence is stunning!

-------------------

_Hope you enjoyed this (and that you actually read the Fourth Apprentice before reading it). I enjoyed writing it, that book really annoyed me more than the others. Anyway, got to go, more Art History to do! _

_Daisy will be up by Thursday or Friday (don't give up on me guys, I promise I'll do a better job posting now that first tri is FINALLY over). _

_Until next time, and always appreciating hearing from you (80 reviews! YEA! I just want to thank you all for reading this and getting me up to 80! Never thought this would be that successful)…_

_~Moore12~ _


	14. Coming Soon List!

_**Hi, guys! **_

**_Here is my Coming Soon List. It includes the next 6 I will write about: _**

**_1) Daisy (thank you CatchMeIfYouCan7391, The-Daughter-Of-Artemis, Avatar2016, xXPantheraXx, allygirl56, and thebleachdiary) _**

**_2) Rock (thank you Spottedflames)_**

**_3) Nightcloud (thank you Thursday's Dove)_**

**_4) Berrynose (thank you Tabitha of MoonAurora and Briarpaw)_**

**_5) Ashfur (thank you Rainshimmer, Avatar2016, Spottedflames, and Birchsong)_**

**_6) Rosetail (Briarpaw I know you've been waiting for this and, guess what, I'm reading Bluestar's Prophecy RIGHT NOW!) _**

**_However, this is by no means the end of my little series! Keep giving me your suggestions! I'm going through and looking at all the reviews so if you want me to write about a cat and I haven't gotten to it, tell me. Yes, sometimes I do ones that I want to write about (Littlecloud and Rippletail) but I normally write what you guys want so give me suggestions! This series is for the readers and I love hearing what you think and writing about what you want me to! _**

**_Until next time..._**

**_~Moore12~ _**


	15. Daisy!

_**Picking on…Daisy! **_

_Thanks to__CatchMeIfYouCan7391, The-Daughter-Of-Artemis, Avatar2016, xXPantheraXx, allygirl56, and thebleachdiary for the suggestion (wow that was a lot of people lol)… _

_93 reviews! You guys are awesome! After the failure of "Falling Shadows" (I'm still working on it even though nobody is reading it basically lol) I figured I wasn't cut out to be a writer on FanFiction. Evidently, that isn't true. I just wanted to say I really appreciate you guys reading this and commenting (and making it one of your favorites!). Thanks for sticking with me through all the sporadic updates and false promises (even this one is late by a day *sigh* had a hockey game and had an unexpected knee injury). But enough of that, here's what your REALLY came to read…_

_Oh, if you have read "The Fourth Apprentice" please, if you want to, participate in my poll on it! I would really appreciate it..._

_Ramblings about how Daisy is absolutely USELESS (except for being a kit making machine) and why Firestar just _had _to go and let her stay (with her really annoying stupid kits)…_

I've disliked Daisy from the moment she was introduced. It's not because I have something against kittypets, it's just…well…where _should_ I start? *_in deep contemplation about Daisy's stupidity* _I know! Let's start from when she just _had _to bring her three kits to ThunderClan so that they "wouldn't be taken away from her."

Okay, I _guess _that makes sense, Ms. Hunter. I mean, it _totally _makes all the sense in the world that this rather pampered, timid, helpless cat would want to go out and live with a bunch of wild cats and let her kits be raised as Warriors and possibly get killed. Right…I'm buying that one. Now, the _real _reason behind Daisy's (random) flight to ThunderClan is that the Hunters had messed up. There weren't enough apprentices or kits at that time, and, well, they needed to somehow rebuild ThunderClan without having to *_cough, cough* _have Ferncloud have yet another litter. Because no cat can keep up that pace of kit making (or maybe one can, Ferncloud seems to be able to *_cough, cough* _manage).

Alright, now that I've made it pretty darn clear that Daisy is yet another plot ploy (rebuilding ThunderClan so that they can kill off more cats so that when Firestar _finally _gets it (I'm predicting the 3rd book of the fourth arc) there are enough cats to give the new leader (I'm gonna say it's gonna be _Lionblaze _(Brambleclaw'll die, you'll see)) his nine lives and enough to still have a ThunderClan). Check! Okay, now let's talk about her wonderfully _awesome_ personality…

Normally queens are personality-less. Take Ferncloud. Or Sorreltail (who was _so _great before becoming a queen *_sob*_). Or insert name of any queen you can think of here. But, no, Daisy just _had _to have a personality. Just _had _to be different. 'Cause, you see, she is _more _than just a useless lump of fur that can't hunt, can't defend herself, or even freaking produce a normal freaking offspring (I give you Berrynose (arrogant mousebrained fool), Hazeltail (irrelevant except for one book and then needy), Mousewhisker (who? but he's kinda a weakling), Toadstep (Berrynose's clone) and Rosepetal (irrelevant) as your examples). Oh, she's _so_ much _more_ than that…

She's actually a diabolical _genius_. She's out to thwart Dustpelt's quest for WORLD DOMINATION! That's right, Daisy, unlike Dustpelt, knows how to work the system. She and Firestar are actually in on it together ('cause, as you all have probably realized by now, Firestar wants to fill ThunderClan with kittypets (and cats with kittypet blood) to justify his existence (he's like *_light bulb goes off above head* I GOT IT! If I fill the _entire _Clan with kittypets and cats with kittypet blood nobody will ever doubt me again, and we can all be like Mary Sue because we're so civilized and not wild savages (unlike ShadowClan) *maniacal laughter* Let me go convince that fat useless lump (what was her name) to come here with her three kits! And make it look totally freaking random too! Oh, Firestar, you aren't just a hot bundle of red fur, you're a _genius _too_) That's right, folks, Daisy is useless because she must _appear _to be useless to continue to have an excuse to merely breed enough cats to out produce Ferncloud (and, for a task so difficult, she's clearly doing well, she _already_has had 5 kits over the span of just a few books and Ferncloud has only had *_gasp* _4 that lived over many books). Firestar also convinced her to do whatever necessary to convince Spiderleg (one of Dustpelt's own offspring) to mate with her just to add insult to injury. 'Cause that's the kind of cat Firestar _really _is.

LOL! You probably read that and was like *_gasp* WOW, this seems like it could actually be true! OMG NOOOOO!! _Here's the thing, it's not true (but wouldn't it be hilarious and awesome if there was a (random) fight between the offspring of DustXFern and the offspring of Daisy. I mean, come on, _that _would be _epic_! (and so totally _not _random like the beaver quest)). No, folks, it's actually just wishful thinking on my part. 'Cause, Daisy _is _a useless lump of fur that can't do _anything _except produce obnoxious or weakling kits. I was just trying to justify her existence. And it was actually rather difficult to do. Yes, Daisy _does _have a personality, it just isn't *_cough, cough* _a _good _one. She's just so whiny, needy, and just plain ugh! Worse than even Ferncloud. And that, my friends, is _saying _something.

Oh, and what was up with her mating with Spiderleg? I mean, if you don't think Firestar convinced her to do it (which I totally don't) it makes _no _sense. Like, I thought she was in love with Cloudtail and was a home-wrecker. Oh, I _totally _forgot about that. She just had to go and mess with the awesomeness that is CloudXBright. I mean _really_? You're in ThunderClan for _what_ _A MINUTE _and you start hitting on Cloudtail even though he has a mate and you're so totally _not _attractive! And you just_ had _to pick on poor Brightheart who is as amazing as you are pathetic? Why? WHY? I mean, come on, Ms. Hunter, did you _really _expect us to see CloudXDaisy happening? Even Cloudtail has too much taste for that. See, it's at a time like this thinking that Firestar _made _her mate with Spiderleg makes so much sense because their relationship was that weird (and random). I mean, she _wuves _her wittle Cloudytaily so gosh darn much and then she ends up WITH SPIDERLEG! I _guess _that makes sense, they're both arrogant jerks and Spiderleg has less taste. Whatever, man, whatever. Let's just say that Firestar _made _her mate with Spiderleg to make the DaisyClan vs. FernClan epic showdown not happen (because of mixed allegiances) and also to prevent Dustpelt's evil (though _very _noble) plan from working. Because even _that _makes more sense than anything else I can think of to explain that (random) relationship.

So, to sum everything up, Daisy isn't a diabolical genius (she isn't _smart _enough to be) but is totally a home wrecker and is just another example of a (random) plot ploy to cover up a Hunter mistake (not having enough kits in ThunderClan to keep it going for another (I don't know…) eight series!). She's also an example of Firestar (once again, what _else_ is new?) being too darn _nice _and being Mary freaking Sue. Oh, and she just _had _to have Berrynose. He's worse than even Breezepelt (pre going insane). Yup, I'm going to say right after Purdy she's one of the two _worst _things that happened to this series. Yeah, I said it. 'Cause I speak the truth!

* * *

_Hope you enjoyed it! I think I was bitingly sarcastic in this one, and I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it. Oh, and, by the way, a lot of what I talk about in this are references to my "Picking on…Ferncloud!" and my "Picking on…Spiderleg!" posts so check them out if you didn't get everything because reading those will make this so much more funny. _

_Until next time (whenever that might be (I'm not making any more promises I can't keep especially when I have no clue when the next one will be up (sorry)))…_

_~Moore12~ _


	16. Rock!

_**Picking on…Rock! **_

_Thanks to Spottedflames for the suggestion…_

_YEA! I've finally broken the 100 review mark! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, I still really appreciate it. Also, sorry for the extremely long amount of time between updates, the last two weeks have been really busy because we had to get a lot done before Christmas Break (which I'm on now, YEA!) and, well, things still were extremely high stakes back then. But, now I'm back, and over the next two weeks I should update more frequently. _

_Ramblings about how Rock might be the single most confusing (and random) character EVER and how he represents the shifting of the series into new (and, in my opinion, less interesting and just plain weird) grounds…_

The first time we saw Rock, I was actually praying that he wouldn't become an important part of the series. It was one of those moments, similar to the ones I had when I first read about Daisy and Purdy, where I was like _NO! Please NO, Ms. Hunter! Don't subject us to this torture_.

But, alas, we get stuck with Rock now, much like we got stuck with (the random) Daisy and *_cough, cough* _spunky, old Purdy. However, unlike Daisy and Purdy, he, unfortunately for us, folks, _isn't _the same old, predictable plot ploy. Rather, he represents the profound shift in focus of the series, the shift that could be, in my opinion, the _ruin_ of it.

Before, we were treated to the likes of Tigerstar, Darkstripe, Brokenstar, etc. While they were pretty obvious in their villainy, they at least made things, well, _interesting_ and, more importantly, _realistic_. Yeah, that's right, folks, this post is going to spend a lot of time bashing the Power of Three and also whatever-that-new-series-is-called. Because, well, this weirdness is getting old! And Rock, well, is the _epitome _of this (random) weirdness.

Okay, Ms. Hunter, you can tell me that you _needed _to find _something _new and original to keep the readers reading. You can try to explain to me that you couldn't just keep rehashing the same old plots, keep doing the same old things. And you needed a character that represented this profound shift in thinking (I mean, it's so _different _that the cats now have _superpowers! _and could possibly destroy everything *_cough, cough*_), and that character is ROCK!

The first time we meet Rock, we also meet Fallen Leaves and figure out that *_gasp* _there were (random) cats living beside the lake _before _our favorite four clans showed up. After that he reveals to us that *_gasp* _the (random) tripe of what's-its-name is _related _to those tribes! Oh my gosh, we _needed _to know that to keep reading the books! Oh, and he tells Jayfeather about how that prophecy of theirs, that minor little thing, is from _*gasp* _when those really old (random) cats lived by the lake! Great, Rock, thanks for all the _awesome _information and for swelling Jayfeather's already too big head by sending him dreams and telling him all this _awesome _info.

Remember how I talked about JayXStick and how that stick is just way too _old _to still be hanging around? Same goes for Rock. Oh, and on top of that, I coulda _sworn _that dead cats either went to StarClan or the Dark Forest. Coulda _sworn_. And, somehow, Rock (and Fallen Leaves for that matter ((random) commercial: _please _check out my story about Fallen Leaves! It's really good, I promise!)) gets stuck on earth in his perpetual ugliness. And _that_makes sense somehow?

At first, I was like _what in the world is going on here_ but now I'm starting to put 2 and 2 together. Rock was another plot ploy, one used to foreshadow the weirdness that was to come…

_**(SPOILER ALERT: IF YOU HAVE NOT READ FOURTH APPRENTICE DO NOT READ THIS PARAGRAPH! You can pick up again after this paragraph) **_Okay, so at first I was like, well, I _guess _Rock is just in the story to swell Jayfeather's head and give us all this _interesting _info. And, I was like I _guess _he's there to serve as a connection between the really old tribes and our four favorite clans. Well, I was right about that, but I missed entirely where the series was going largely because, well, I still had _some _faith in the Hunters. I figured that they weren't _stupid _and would keep their series _somewhat_ rooted in reality. That's no longer the case. Nope, the Hunters have gone all science fiction on us and weirdness is taking over. Yup, instead of _real _battles between cats who are _alive _we're gonna get more of the *_gasp* _DEAD CATS FIGHTING! AHH! IT'S THE BATTLE BETWEEN STARCLAN AND THE DARK FOREST! NOOOOOOO!! Right…I buy _that_. You see, folks, I liked it better when cats who were dead _stayed _dead, and the cats who were _alive _fought battles (that could be some of the most amazing scenes in the series (see the BloodClan vs. the Forest Clans scene)) against other cats who were _alive_. Oh, and Ms. Hunter, please don't tell me you're doing this to make the series different. All you've done is added weirdness to the same old plot lines you were always using (battles, forbidden loves, villains, random (or not) quests, etc.) and made the series (randomly) weird.

_**(For those of you who didn't read the Fourth Apprentice, you can resume reading here!) **_Granted, I mean, I _guess _it's cool to introduce a new concept into the stories. That there are dead cats out there that still live in the world. It _is _an interesting concept, that there is more than just StarClan and the Dark Forest (ten to one Hollyleaf ends up like Rock and Fallen Leaves, ten to one… Wouldn't that be a kick in the butt? More Hollyleaf! _Great_…). But, I personally liked the series better when it revolved around the lives of cats that had troubles and problems that were, well, based in _reality_. The best book of the series, Bluestar's Prophecy, didn't rely on hocus pocus to wow us, rather it revolved around telling a convincing story filled with drama and intensity that came from the _real _world. The first series was so much better because it was relatable. We could understand Fireheart/paw's problems with being an outsider, we could feel for Graystripe and Silverstream, we felt bad for Bluestar as she slowly went crazy and we finally learned she gave up her kits. Heck, even _Tigerstar _(the most clichéd and obvious character in the entire first series) had a personality and a relatable story. Before, the Hunters were just great story tellers who created realistic stories that stood in their own right. Now, they're so _desperate_ to keep us reading, they've essentially turned to magic and weirdness to counteract their subpar storytelling. So, instead of the interesting, poignant tales we used to read, we get characters like Rock. _Great_. Just _great_.

So, to sum this all up, Rock is a (randomly) weird character introduced to be a plot ploy (to swell Jayfeather's head and also serve as an omen of what was to come) and also represents the fundamental (and horrible!) shift in the thinking of the Hunters, who believe that we, who read the brilliant first series and other stories like Bluestar's Prophecy, are going to stand for this new garbage their feeding us. What's sad is that I'll keep reading just to figure out what happens next. Heck, they got what they wanted, right?

------------------

_That one wasn't very good…Sorry for disappointing all of you. Rock was a difficult character to write about. I'm sorry if it's not as funny as the other ones have been. It's just, he's not a funny character. He's just, well, weird. Anyway, keep telling me what you want me to write about. Even though the next four are planned out, I still need suggestions. Oh, and don't let this one turn you off. I know it's not very good or funny. The next ones will be better, I promise! _

_Until next time…_

_~Moore12~ _


	17. Nightcloud!

_**Picking on…Nightcloud! **_

_Thanks to Thursday's Dove for the suggestion…_

_Hey, I'm back only two days after posting "Picking on…Rock!"I think that might be a new record lol (except for when I posted Tigerstar and Littlecloud on the same day…) Hope you enjoy this one. It should be an EPIC WIN! _

_Commercial: I know I'm kind of known for my cynical pieces, but I actually do really like Warriors, and I am working on a new series called "Dawn of a New Day." It should be really good, I'm on the first book, called "Breakthrough" and I think you would all enjoy it. (And, yes, there ARE some cynical parts of it, check out the ThunderClan allegiance page). So, please check it out! I would love to hear your thoughts on that! _

_WARNING: Much like "Picking on…Crowfeather!" this one will also earn its T rating. Can't say I didn't warn you.__ (What _is_it about all things related to Crowfeather that makes this series earn its T rating??) _

_Ramblings about how Nightcloud just _had _to fall for Crowfeather and how she might be the most pathetic character in the history of Warriors…_

Nightcloud didn't even get Crowfeather on the rebound. Nope, she is the unfortunate cat who got him after two other relationships. Crowfeather _clearly_does not love her at all (which raises the question of how the heck did he get it on with her) and she has an insanely messed up son who we all know as Breezepelt (in my opinion, the most messed up and psychotic of all the Crowfeather kits (yes, he beat out _Hollyleaf_)). Now, I ask, why doesn't _anyone _feel sorry for her? Stuck in a loveless relationship with Crowfeather (who we all know can be all luvey dovey but doesn't even _acknowledge_ her existence), stuck caring for a crazy son who is bent on destroying the world, why doesn't _anyone _feel sorry for her?

The answer, my good readers, is that Nightcloud is *_cough, cough* _well, a cheap _slut_. She kind of was _asking _for the abuse that Warriors fans have heaped on her. See, while Ferncloud at least had somewhat of a semblance of a loving relationship with Dustpelt (even though Dustpelt is *_cough, cough* _a _pervert _and also a diabolical genius attempting to recreate the glory of ThunderClan before all the (random) kittypets started showing up), and Daisy, well, Daisy is _Daisy_, Nightcloud is the unfortunate once irrelevant cat picked to end up with Crowfeather.

See, the Hunters realized they had an itsy bitsy problem once Leafpool chose her Clan over Crowfeather in one of the most touching (NOT!) scenes in the second arc. This problem revolved around what in the world they were going to do with Crowfeather. Now, basically, they could have decided to a) have him _stop _having freaking annoying psychotic kits or b) have him take yet _another _mate (this time in his _own _Clan, what a novel concept!) and have even _more _freaking annoying psychotic kits. We all know which option they chose, and that brings us to the joy that is Nightcloud.

Granted, Ms. Hunter, I can attempt to explain _some _of her (randomly) odd personality traits including her clingy-ness, her incessant need to remind everyone and everything that yes Crowfeather actually really _is _her mate (too bad Yellowfang's not alive to be like *_contempt filled snort* _Sure_he is, Nightcloud, you go right on believing that_), and what seems to be an unnatural and pretty weird attachment to her son, the psychotic, horrible Breezepelt. Crowfeather _clearly_ doesn't care about her, so I can see that her anger and frustration could be manifested into these annoying actions and horrible personality traits. But, she had what she got coming to her…

Now, Nightcloud had to _know _about what happened between Crowfeather and Leafpool (it's clear that she does because of her hostility towards Leafpool whenever their paths cross). Maybe she didn't _know _about Feathertail, but she probably did as, last time I checked, Crowfeather chose his own _name_because of Feathertail (don't ya think just saying Crow_feather _would remind Nightcloud that, hey, he loves _someone else_!). And despite all this, despite the fact that jeez, I don't know, she was _third _in line for Crowfeather's affections, she _still _wanted to be with him. You can call that dedication if you want, but I call it _stupidity_. I mean, come on, Crowfeather is like the village bicycle, everyone's had a ride. And she wanted to be with _that_? When there are other perfectly good cats (like Owlfeather/whisker (his name (randomly) changes after one book) and Weselfur who are the same age as Crowfeather) in WindClan who hadn't been players? But, nope, Nightcloud tries to be the heroic she-cat who _changes _Crowfeather and makes him stay loyal and love her for more than like a split second to make some psychotic babies. Yup, that was going to work out, Nightcloud. Didn't anyone ever warn you you can _never _change a man?

So, basically, Nightcloud had to be the _slut _who didn't care that she was going to be mate numero three. She just wanted to be with her wittle disloyal Crowfeather, right? Whether you call it stupidity or dedication, still loving him despite the places he's been (he slept with _Leafpool _for StarClan's sake!) she basically is the pathetic loser who fails to recognize what Crowfeather is and that he did not love her, does not love her (despite having a baby with her), and will _never _love her despite how many psychotic kits she bears him. So, why do we hate her? Shouldn't we feel sorry for her?

NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Nightcloud, though she is a _slut _who happened to be Crowfeather's second official mate (well third if you count Feathertail) she is _NOT _to be pitied. I mean, come on, she acts like she _owns _him. It's all like *_indignant yowl* He's _mine _you sluts! _or *_gushing* Isn't he amazing! Have you seen our son, Breezepelt! Isn't he the greatest wittle kit evah! I mean, he should be, Crowfeather _is _his father. _Jeez, now that I think of it, it's no wonder Breezepelt is so darn messed up, look at his parents. Wow…_now _everything is coming together…

Anyway, now _everyone _knows that Crowfeather just _used _Nightcloud to appear loyal to WindClan after that little (random) incident with a certain ThunderClan medicine cat who shall remain nameless (_*cough* LEAFPOOL *cough*_) and yet she has the nerve to tell us that no, HE LOVES HER! Nightcloud, you slutty _fool_, you're nothing to him but a baby making machine and a way to prove that OMG I AM SO TOTALLY LOYAL! (like I said before, at least Dustpelt clearly cares about Ferncloud). And yet you're arrogant enough to think that you _changed _him. Couldn't you tell by his courtship of you that he was _using _you or were you arrogant enough to think that the Hunters had other plans for you other than being Crowfeather's final (and most despised) mate.

—_Crowfeather's courtship of Nightcloud—_

_Crowfeather: *slightly disgusted, mainly exasperated* Blah…blah…blah, Nightcloud, I think I yada yada yada can we just get it on now? _

_Nightcloud: *gushing joyously* Oh, Crowfeather, I have _always_ loved you so much. I knew that you…_

_Crowfeather: *impatiently* Can we dispense with the chit chat and get it on already? _

_Nightcloud: *happily, unaware (or uncaring) about Crowfeather's intentions* OKAY! _

_Crowfeather: *sigh* I miss Feathertail…Oh, you're _still_ here, _aren't_ you? Right! I'm supposed to mate with you! That's…_ugh_…_

_Nightcloud: I already have a nest made up for you! _

_Crowfeather: _Great_…_

This is why this courtship wasn't included in the books, as they are for little children. Okay, moving on. As you can clearly see, Crowfeather doesn't want anything to do with Nightcloud, but Nightcloud wuves her wittle Crowfeather so much! Pathetic. So pathetic. Thanks for perpetuating the stereotype of the weak woman, Ms. Hunter. Thank you so much.

What's worse about the whole (random) CrowXNight thing is that the Hunters basically manufactured it. That's right, just when you thought there couldn't be _anything _else wrong with Nightcloud it turns out that, yes, there _is _something major wrong with her…

She, one (random) day appears out of _NOWHERE_.

That's right, folks, Nightcloud is yet another example of a remarkably failed plot ploy and of the Hunters' stupidity. Because Nightcloud didn't even _exist _(not even in apprentice form mind you) until _Twilight_. You see, the Hunters had an itsy bitsy problem (well, upon further thought, it was kind of a _major _problem). THERE WERE NO FEMALE CATS IN WINDCLAN FOR CROWFEATHER TO MATE WITH AFTER HE HAD HIS *_shoot, I really have to mate within my own Clan* _EPIPHANY! That's right, the only female cats in WindClan were Ashfoot (his mommy, and, despite all of Crowfeather's flaws, he thankfully _doesn't _have an Oedipal complex), Whitetail (taken) and two elders. So, the Hunters were in quite a bind and, one day, they slipped the name "Nightcloud" into the WindClan allegiances (in _Twilight_) hoping that nobody would notice that SHE DIDN'T EVER EXIST until that point. Well, at least they didn't (randomly) change a cat's sex (ala Rowanclaw) in order to fix their big mistake. But, still, _really_, Ms. Hunter? You do have some watchdog fans out there who see into your stupidity. Better luck next time trying to fool us.

So, to sum this all up, Nightcloud was invented (and (randomly) inserted into the story) by the Hunters to be the arrogant she-cat who thinks she can change Crowfeather. She also has to be the most _pathetic _character _ever_ due to the fact that she is just a cheap _slut _who Crowfeather used and threw away. And she just _had _to go and have freaking Breezepelt. That was _really _necessary. Thanks, Ms. Hunter, for more of the stupidity we have come to expect! Thanks _so _much.

* * *

_Wow, that was a novel. Hope you enjoyed it! This was by far the most fun to write because I absolutely DESPISE Nightcloud and all that she stands for (could ya tell?). Anyway, I love hearing from you all, so please keep reviewing (and please read my other stories too!). Although the next few are planned out (coming up next is Berrynose which should be EPIC too) I still want to hear what you think! _

_Until next time…_

_~Moore12~ _


	18. Berrynose!

_**Picking on…Berrynose **_

_Thanks to Tabitha of MoonAurora, Goldenheart11, and Briarpaw for the suggestion…_

_Apparently I didn't make my intentions clear enough so I will state them again so there is absolutely no confusion: __**THIS SERIES IS FOR FUN! IT IS NOT SERIOUS AND IT, IN NO WAY, IS REPRESENTATIVE OF MY FEELINGS ABOUT WARRIORS!**__ *sighs* phew, now that I got that out of the way, let's get started…_

_Sorry I haven't posted in awhile, been really busy. Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR'S! My new year's resolution: post more often *laughs*_

**_Want to vote for your favorite chapter of the "Picking on..." Series thus far! Go to my profile page and vote!! The winner of the poll will have another special chapter written about them! VOTE BEFORE TIME RUNS OUT!! _**

_Ramblings about how Berrynose has to be one of the most annoying characters _ever_ created and how he just _had _to hook up with Poppyfrost…_

Along time ago, I began this series with a rant on Honeyfern. Looking back on it now (you should check it out if you haven't, it's Chapter 2) I realize that Honeyfern wasn't _really _the problem. The problem, as you all have probably guessed and realized by yourself, is _Berrynose_!

Never before had the Hunters introduced such an *_clears throat for an especially long rant* _annoying, self-centered, arrogant, egotistical, whiny, needy, helpless, coldhearted, melodramatic, idiotic, nasty, controlling, proud, weird, (random), obnoxious and so totally _unnecessary _character before. (Have some other adjectives to describe Berrynose? Feel free to post them as comments, I'm sure I left out a _bunch _'cause there are so many (almost too many to count) negative adjectives that describe him _perfectly_.) I mean, seriously, Ms. Hunter? You expect us to _like_ Berrynose? Are you out of your freaking mind? Do you need committed into the mental hospital? (Don't worry, they're on their way to get ya (they even brought the straitjacket!!)) I mean, seriously, there is NO reason to like this cat. He mated with his dead mate's _sister _for crying out loud! Oh, and the name is just precious. Berry_nose_. _Berry_nose._ Really_? You call _that_ a warrior name? Well, then again, he isn't _really_ a warrior so I think it makes perfect sense.

You see, folks, before we were treated to jerks that at least made sense. At least Dustpelt (then Dustpaw) had a legitimate reason to hate Firestar (then Firepaw/heart) and be mean to him (especially after he stole Sandstorm from him and became a warrior way before him even though he had been training for _moons _longer). At least Birchfall had a legitimate reason to be slightly self-centered (the old, only kit in the Clan syndrome). At least Nightcloud has a slightly legitimate reason to cling to Crowfeather like there's no tomorrow (he's got all the makings of a cheater). Heck, even Tigerstar had a legitimate reason to want to take over everything and be pure evil (the my-day-became-a-freaking-kittypety syndrome)! Now, I ask you, folks, does _Berrynose _have a legitimate reason to be all those horrible adjectives I just listed to describe him…

NO! I mean, if you want to make excuses for him and his massive, unexplainable attitude problem you could attempt to go down one of two roads. Road A: he's just a poor wittle ex-kittypet (actually he was a loner for all intensive purposes but let's not go into that) who wants to fit in so bad but all those meany forest cats are just so gosh darn mean to him, and he just acts all bad and mean to prove he doesn't care what they think (even though it's breaking his wittle heart). Road B: he just misses his poor Honeyfern so so much after she (randomly) got bitten by that (random) snake. Now, you all should be laughing hysterically at these. Because neither is remotely true. Honeyfern (although wouldn't that be so gosh darn _noble _of him) wouldn't have caused him to be such a BAD KITTY because he was a jerk before she died. And Road A, though seemingly plausible, doesn't make so much sense either. The truth is, folks, that Berrynose is just MADLY IN LOVE WITH HIMSELF!

This should come as no surprise to you, and you may all be like, what's Moore12 doing? This is just a restatement of the blatantly obvious, stuff even a 5 year old could figure out. Now, I will admit that I am a slight conspiracy theorist, probably because I still hold out _some _hope that the Hunters aren't _that _stupid (see the Littlecloud post for an example of this). I'm guessing you're all getting tired of the: THE HUNTERS ARE ONCE AGAIN INSULTING OUR INTELLIGENCE rant (which, this is yet another example of, by the way) so here's my attempt at explaining this:

Berrynose = Tigerstar/Dustpelt.

Now, before you're all like _wait? What it the world is Moore12 getting at this time? _let me explain. You see, Berrynose is _actually _a weird (and kind of creepy, actually) combination of Tigerstar and Dustpelt. He, in the nursery stories that Ferncloud told him, learned that trying to take over the forest _alone _isn't exactly the smartest way to go. He learned that one cat cannot hope to control everything all by himself (or take it all over by himself, something Tigerstar attempted to do (really, Tigerstar, you thought you could control _BloodClan_?)). And, he also realized something that started him down this road…HAVING LOTS OF KITS IS THE WAY TO REALLY TAKE OVER!! Granted, he knew that Dustpelt's plan was very noble (though slightly evil) and that Firestar's plan (he was like _*growls furiously* Firestar you (expletive) how DARE you take advantage of my mama!_) was kind of selfish but his, his would be awesome. He was going to take over the whole entire FOREST and overrun it with little obnoxious clones of himself!! Because ALL THE CLANS WOULD _RUN AWAY _IF THERE WAS AN ARMY OF LITTLE BERRYNOSES IN THE FOREST! And then the entire forest would be his *_maniacal laughter* _You see, that's why he mated with Poppyfrost. He figured, well, if Honeyfern was shaping out to be a baby making machine like I need, her sister probably will too (and when she had only two kits he was like NOO!! MY PLAN IS RUINED!!)(if you want to understand all the references in this, you should read the Ferncloud chapter and the Daisy chapter)

_Right_…Well, it's just another theory lol…

One of my major problems with Berrynose was his treatment of Honeyfern. I mean, yes, Honeyfern _was _kind of annoying, but she didn't deserved to be _completely _ignored. I mean, Berrynose was probably too busy staring at his own reflection in the lake to notice her at all (now, folks, _that _explains why he always tries to get out of his Warrior duties, he just _needs _to get down to the lake and stare at himself! He can't live without staring at himself…). And then, just when he started (randomly) returning her affection she (randomly) died for some (random) kit. To add insult to injury, Berrynose proceeded to _MATE WITH HER SISTER _(I don't care if Honeyfern gave BerryXPoppy her blessing in _The Fourth Apprentice_. That book was just stupid). So, Berrynose is just as good as Crowfeather, but his personality is worse. Great…Thank you, Ms. Hunter, for making only secondary characters we _hate _and none we can actually like (ala Sorreltail, Brackenfur, Thrushpelt, Stonepelt, etc.). You think we're going to keep reading this garbage? (Well, probably, I know I'm in it until Littlecloud dies so you _better _not kill him off!). What's sad is that if you take Berrynose out of the books, nothing would change. Well, I take that back, the story line wouldn't change but it would just be so much more pleasant to read. I wouldn't have to beat my head up against the nearest hard object whenever he enters the story whining about something or other or having one of his typical Berrynose love fests.

So, to sum this all up, Berrynose was put on this planet to just annoy us with all of his horrible personality flaws. He has absolutely no other purpose. If he or any of his kits become important in the Fourth Arc I'm boycotting the series (and you should all too!)! Take that Ms. Hunter! We won't stand for your stupidity (and your _stupid _characters (*_cough, cough* Berrynose)_) anymore! STOP INSULTING OUR INTELLIGENCE!!

* * *

_Hope this was all you are hoping for. Next up is ASHFUR (the moment many of you were waiting for…). Anyway, I have NO idea when Ashfur's will be up, keep checking back. Oh, and, as always, I want to hear what you think! Give me suggestions, give me adjectives to describe Berrynose (as I asked for earlier in this piece). Tell me what you think! A writer who gets reviews is always really happy and you guys have been AWESOME! Thanks so much._

_Until next time, and always appreciating you reading this…_

_~Moore12~ _

_P.S. Since the Rosetail post will probably be short, I may slip post it and MILLIE'S on the SAME DAY after Ashfur's for an added bonus, so keep checking back! _


	19. Ashfur!

_**Picking on Ashfur…**_

_Thanks to Rainshimmer Has Duct Tape, Avatar2016, Spottedflames, and Birchsong21 for the suggestion…_

_Hey guys, sorry for the EXTREMELY long delay. I know I failed you on that, and I'm really sorry. Anyway, so I'm back now and I wanted to give a plug to my new serious story. No, it's not about the Warriors but I still think you should check it out. It's called Race Against Time and it's a Race to Witch Mountain fanfic. _

_As always, I love hearing what you think. I'm looked through all the new reviews and was like WOW! So if you have any suggestions, as always just tell me. _

_Ramblings about how Ashfur went from nice guy to psycho path (randomly) because of being rejected by Squirrelflight *cough, cough* and because of the need to have another plot ploy…_

Now, at first, I really thought Ashfur had potential. I mean, he and Ferncloud DID help save ThunderClan from the doggies back in book 5 of the first arc (wow, can't believe it was so long ago I actually liked him and that he actually _did _something…). And, for a cat forced to have freaking _Dustpelt _as his mentor, he did seem pretty darn normal. _Too_ normal even. I mean, come on, think about how bad _that _could have turned out for the poor innocent kitty.

Things changed for our little Mr. _Irrelevant_ (who was just trying to be your average, run-of-the-mill Mary Sue warrior just trying to serve his clan the absolute _bestest_ he could for his amazingly awesome and downright inspiring leader, Firestar) one otherwise normal day. What happened that day, that day that will go down in Warrior Cat infamy, you're wondering.

Squirrelpaw happened. Ah, yes, how could we forget about Firestar's daughter, the little bundle of _energy _and _awesomeness _that she is? By this point in my series of ramblings, I'm _sure_ you know what I've got to say about this. You see, folks, this is just another case of Ms. Hunter needing to (huh, how do I put this?) manufacture something (_randomly_) to help set up later books. Ashfur was just hanging around, minding his own business, and Ms. Hunter decided to, well, make him fall _madly _in love with a cat way _way _too young for him.

Now, of course, our little Mr. Suddenly-Turned-Relevant-For-No-Good-Reason had a problem. A _big _problem. As it turns out, the love of his life (how any cat could fall in love with freaking _Squirrelpaw _still amazes the heck out of me) wasn't destined to be with him. Nope (cue the sad _awwwwww_). Because that would be _far _too easy and, well, not dramatic enough. No, the Hunters had a plan for Ashfur. And it didn't involve a lifetime of fresh-kill and making babies with his little Squirrelpaw. Why, you ask?

Because the Hunters decided it would be _far _more interesting to have Squirrelpaw, daughter of the noble leader Firestar fall in love with _*gasp!* BRAMBLECLAW! _I mean, come on, folks, what would this series be without even MORE forbidden love? Granted, this wasn't _exactly _the same thing as your typical _omg I love a cat from another Clan, what in StarClan's name do I do now? _overplayed scenario. But, _still _it's close enough in my book. Once again, the Hunters decided to insult our intelligence by thinking we would just _love _this pairing. Tigerstar's son + Firestar's daughter. Hm… to me it seems like a match made in StarClan… _NOT_!

Back to Ashfur. Now, while Squirrelpaw and Brambleclaw went on the adventure of a lifetime together, he was back home pining for his little trophy she-cat. There, I said it. Sue me. Of course, when Squirrelpaw came back, it was too late for him to win her over—no, the Hunters had decreed that it was her destiny to be with Brambleclaw and Ashfur's to be, er…we'll get to _that _in a moment.

Sometimes, I think that Ms. Hunter enjoys _torturing _her characters. I mean, really, think about it. Bluestar had to give up her kits. Firestar _*cough, cough* _went from an epically awesome warrior to May Sue incarnate. Cinderpelt got hit by a car. Must I keep going? (Have any other _epic _examples of Ms. Hunter torturing her characters? Feel free to post them as reviews and maybe I'll talk about what you said!).

But Ms. Hunter had set aside an extra _special_ torture for Ashfur. Oh, yes, she had a plan, folks. You see, she thought that maybe, just maybe BrambleXSquirrel was working out _too _well. I mean, they were _happy_ (bear in mind, folks, happy in this series is a _relative _term when not describing anybody other than Firestar). I mean, even I'll admit to thinking they were a rather adorable couple. So, being Ms. Hunter and enjoying playing g-d a _little _too much, she decided to make them have a fight and for Squirrelflight to _*cough, cough* _start hanging around with Ashfur.

Ashfur, Ashfur, Ashfur. How could you be so _naïve _to think that the Hunters would actually let you win her in the end? How could you _honestly _believe that they thought that AshXSquirrel would hold up forever and for always? Well, you fell for it, didn't you Mr. Nice-Guy-Doomed-To-Go-The-Way-Of-Tigerstar? You _really _thought that they had made you _special—_that you (unlike all the irrelevant secondary characters that came before you) would get to be happy and actually get to *_gasp* _become relevant for a _good _reason (i.e. marry into the family lol).

Ashfur, you shoulda known that the Hunters are evil and sadistic. 'Cause they were using you were a PLOT PLOY all along. Yep, you're just another plot ploy. And, ya wanna know what's pathetically sad. You're a _dumb_ one.

Folks, we all know how this goes down. Squirrelflight *_groan* _realizes the error of her ways and goes running back to her wittle _so_-not-like-his-evil-father Brambleclaw. And Ashfur, Ashfur is left to sink back into the irrelevantness he sprang from.

_Right_. Now, Ashfur (because he was so pissed off for being dumped by Squirrelflight of all cats and was like _darn it! I thought I'd get true love_) decided to fall right into the Hunters' trap. He joined forces with Hawkfrost in an attempt on Firestar's life that (of course) didn't go down (because what would the series be without our _hero_?). Of course, Ms. Hunter decided NOT to let us know that until the final book of the third arc (even though it was _*cough, cough* _so _blatantly _obvious he was involved because his APPRENTICE DID BRING THE MESSAGE BACK TO CAMP THAT GOT FIRESTAR CAUGHT IN THE TRAP!).

Nope. The Hunters had even bigger plans for their nice-guy-turned-sadistic-murderer (hey, he takes after his authors, what can I say?). I mean, come on, guys, it's like _totally NORMAL _for a cat to want to KILL another cat's (who was, by the way, not all that _interested _in the first place and was just _using _him) family because he got rejected. Right…I buy _that _one. It's like I totally buy into the BerryXPoppy pairing lol…

In the fifth book of the third arc, the Hunters _use _Ashfur (and his attempt to (randomly) kill Squirrelflight's…uh…kits during the fire) to make the announcement we were all waiting for (and _totally _didn't expect, no, not at all). HELLO! WAKE UP! WE ALREADY KNEW THAT THE THREE WEREN'T SQUIRRELFLIGHT'S! DUH!

And what does he get for all his trouble? Freaking _Hollyleaf _kills him. Yup, that's right, he gets killed off by _Hollyleaf _because, evidently, he was no longer useful. Talk about adding insult to injury, am I right? In this way, poor Ashfur (who fell victim to the Hunters' attempt to make him into little more than a creepy and stupid plot ploy) died. The End. Or is it? (You can't really tell anymore, not with the idiotic plot line of StarClan vs. The Dark Forest thing they got going on).

So, to sum this all up, Ashfur started out as being your typical, normal warrior. But then Squirrelflight happened, and that was that. Turning into a, er, _brilliant _plot ploy, Ashfur starts trying (and failing) to (randomly) kill cats. And, of course, it _is _because if him (and _only _because of him) we found out Leafpool's little _secret _(if you could call it that…). Poor Ashfur. To think you once had such potential.

_Hope it was worth the wait! I'm sorry I left you hanging for so long. As always, please review! I'll be needing inspiration again! Also, please check out my other stories. I promise they won't disappoint. _

_Thanks for waiting for so long and for reading… Until next time, _

_~Moore12~ _


	20. Rosetail!

_**Picking on… Rosetail! **_

_Thanks to Briarpaw and hawkfire111 for inspiring this… Briarpaw, sorry for the really long wait… Hope it's worth it! _

_Hey, guys! This is the last cat from my old coming soon list. Therefore, I need some help. I looked through all your reviews (all 212 of them! Thanks everybody!) and have decided to let you pick who's next between two cats. Drum roll please…_

_Redtail or Dustpelt. The next one will be on one of these two, so vote! __Thanks! Oh, and this next chapter won't be the last, so keep up with your amazing suggestions and awesome ideas. I appreciate hearing what you think! _

_You guys have been awesome and have really inspired me to write. I know you'd really like my other stories that aren't Warriors related (see my profile page to get to them) so please check them out. Some of them haven't even gotten a single review yet so if you read them and like them tell me so. Thanks! I write more than just this series, you know? _

_Ramblings about how "Rosetail" could possibly be one of the most pointless characters in the series (which, folks, you know is saying something)…_

I've been away from this for so long I forgot this "Rosetail" even existed. I mean, I can still rattle off almost all of the main characters and remember almost everything about the series. I still remember random facts like how Deadfoot's foot got (randomly) crushed by a stone and that Hawkfrost had _really _creepy blue eyes.

But when I decided to start this up again, I went to my "Coming Soon…" list to see where I left off and saw "Rosetail," I was stumped. I mean, I was like _huh? Who the heck is this "Rosetail" and why am I supposed to be picking on her? _I mean, SERIOUSLY, who IS "Rosetail?"

So for this installment, I decided to do things a _wittle _differently. I launched an _investigation_. You see, folks, I wanted to know who exactly "Rosetail" was, what drove him or her. Step one: determining the cat's gender. "_Rose_tail"…a she-cat. Well, that was difficult. Thank you so much, Ms. Hunter, for making it blatantly easy to determine a cat's gender in this series (well, at first it was…). Wimpy names for she-cats, bad a$$ names for toms. Got it.

Step two: figure out why I'm supposed to be picking on her. Hm… To figure out why I'm writing this, I guess I got to find out a little about her. TO THE ARCHIVES! _*pages absentmindedly through Bluestar's Prophecy* _OOOOHH she's related to Thistleclaw. So she _MUST _be EVIL! _*cue the insane, maniacal laughter* _

Or not… Nope, she just seems really whiny and must REALLY want the ThrushXBlue thing to become canon (poor naïve kitty, that would be far too easy and not _dramatic_ what ARE you doing?) _*groan* _Seriously, folks, I'm not finding ANYTHING noteworthy about this "Rosetail." In fact, I'm beginning to doubt she even existed. Maybe she's just a figment of all our imaginations… _*pages through Into the Wild in hopes of discovering SOMETHING to talk about* _OOOOOOHH! I gots it!

SHE'S A GHOST! Didn't see that one coming, did you?

Hm… not doing it for you, huh? Yeah, I'm not finding that to be an adequate answer to my question of who is "Rosetail?" either. Let me think 'bout this for a minute… _*goes BACK through Into the Wild in a _desperate _attempt to figure out who "Rosetail" is other than just another pointless character just there to be…well…there* _Well, I think that "she's a ghost" deal might actually be _*gasp* _right seeing as how she's not even mentioned in the allegiances and just (randomly) appears to get killed defending the kits. But if she's a ghost, how did she die? Okay then…you know what? That doesn't tell me anything that I don't already know about the Hunters _seriously _having problems CHECKING OVER their allegiance pages and thinking we must not read carefully just like them.

Okay, think, Moore12, think. There's got to be something to say about "Rosetail." I mean, come on, you've picked on so many characters before you got this in the bag! Right?

Off to Warriors Wiki for some inspiration! I'm not giving up on my investigation yet, folks. _*scrolls down absolutely tiny page about "Rosetail" hoping that Warriors Wiki noticed something that Moore12 didn't* *pauses* _

_*cough, cough* _Well… THERE'S NOTHING HERE! What the heck! This "Rosetail" doesn't even have any kits or a mate or anything. All it says is that she "is a good friend of Bluefur" (quoted from the website) and that she wants her to get with Thrushpelt. Well isn't that _great_! That was _beyond _anticlimactic. I was hoping to hear that she went crazy or something (I mean, with a friend like Bluestar that could happen after all…).

Sorry to disappoint you, folks. You see, I've reached a conclusion regarding this "Rosetail." "Rosetail" suffered a fate worse than even Ashfur or Rippletail. What is Moore12 getting at this time, you're wondering right? Well, let me explain.

_*clears throat for a long rant about the Hunters being stupid and insulting our intelligence* _Don't get me wrong, folks, I think that Bluestar's prophecy is BY FAR the best book in the series. And, yet, it still suffers from some of the _fatal_ flaws the later books in the second arc and the third arc consistently suffered from. You see, "Rosetail" could be any cat. You know why? Because… SHE HAS NOT ESTABLISHED PERSONALITY! SHE'S JUST THERE TO OCCASIONALLY TALK ABOUT ONE THING (i.e. ThrushXBlue). SHE'S NOT _EVEN _A PLOT PLOY! SHE'S JUST THERE TO MANIPULATE READERS INTO QUESTIONING THE MAIN CHARACTER!

WAKE UP MS. HUNTER! Your readers are not as dumb as you may think. We can see when you just slipped in a character for no good reason. "Rosetail" is a perfect example of this. She isn't even a cat, she's just a _shell_ of a cat you put a name on in hopes of making a _slightly_ convincing character while you went on to worry about other cats with _far _more important fates (or those cute little plot ploys that abound).

So, to sum this all up, "Rosetail" is another example of the Hunters insulting or intelligence by (randomly) inserting a pointless and personality less character into the story to parrot one thing for them (in this case YEA THRUSHXBLUE!). "Rosetail" is SO unimportant, even, she doesn't even get mentioned in the allegiances. Harsh, right? Like I said, she got handed the fate worst of all (just _being _there, not even getting to be a plot ploy). Poor "Rosetail," we just got to see you and never got to know you…

_WOW! That was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Hope it was worth the wait! Don't forget to vote on whether or not you want Redtail or Dustpelt next and, as always, any suggestions or mini rants of your own are always welcomed. And please check out my other works! Thanks! _

_Until next time…_

_~Moore12~ _


	21. Redtail!

_**Picking on…Redtail! **_

_Thanks to BrandyMyDog for the original suggestion and to everybody who voted in the Redtail vs. Dustpelt pole…_

_For those of you wanting to have a Dustpelt chapter, he's up against Tawnypelt for the next chapter. So it's __Dustpelt vs. Tawnypelt for the next chapter__! Please vote! _

_And, as always, tell me what you're thinking. Redtail's section is partly inspired by comments posted by BrandyMyDog and A Beautiful Oblivion (thanks guys!). So keep the comments and suggestions coming! _

_You guys have been awesome and have really inspired me to write. I know you'd really like my other stories that aren't Warriors related (see my profile page to get to them) so please check them out. Some of them haven't even gotten a single review yet so if you read them and like them tell me so. Thanks! I write more than just this series, you know? _

_Ramblings about how Redtail is just a pathetic excuse for a plot ploy and is *cough, cough: how do I put this?* a genetic freak of nature… _

Folks, am I starting to sound like a broken record? Well, if I am blame the Hunters and not me. They're the ones providing me all this amazing fodder to talk about! However, I got a pretty special treat for you all today. We're going to pick on Redtail! And you all know what that means…

You see, my friends, Redtail shouldn't really even _exist_. Because, last time I checked tortoiseshell cats are ALL FEMALE! Regardless of what the Hunters want to believe many people who read their books have taken biology. Yes, that's right: I TOOK BIOLOGY! And, well, I saw the cute wittle diagram at the top of one of the pages (that even included an _adorable _picture of a tortoiseshell kitty) that explained that, because of a genetic _mutation _(that's right, it's a _mutation_) all torties are…um…female. It's something having to do with getting two X chromosomes.

Sorry for all the biology talk lol. But then, I decided to dig deeper. I mean I took bio awhile ago, and, who knows? there could be tortoiseshell males out there somewhere. And I came across some articles that talk about how _extremely _RARE tortoiseshell males are (check out the stats in there, they're _CRAZY_) and also found out that, because of the fact they get two X chromosomes, these cats ARE STERILE. (Check it out on Google, there's soooo many articles on it!)

Well, well, well, Ms. Hunter. I guess Redtail could actually _exist _after all. I'm sorry to have _doubted _you. I mean, come on, in a clan as inbred as ThunderClan there's _bound _to be, I don't know, lots of mutated genes floating around. But then, I remember something…something unforgivable. Okay, you're right. Redtail _could _exist (even if it IS extremely unlikely) due to the fact you made all the cats like to mate with their uncles (er…DustXFern anyone?) but then you had to go and make him a daddy.

That's right. Redtail, the STERILE male tortoiseshell is a DADDY. He's Sandstorm's DADDY (well, guess _that _explains the mood swings and falling for our dear Firestar…) And 1 + 1 = 4! I'm sorry, Ms. Hunter, did you ever get on the computer and do _any _research? Or did you just think it would be cute to have Redtail be a cute wittle MALE tortie with a _*gasp* _RED TAIL! I guess you never read your biology textbook or paid attention in class…

Moving on…okay where _do _I start regarding Redtail's position in the books? There's just so much to say and so little time… Well, let's see. Here is Redtail's ONE contribution to the story:

He gets killed by Tigerstar (then still Tigerclaw, the oh so _loyal _deputy).

Wow, he was like alive for a page or two in the first book of the first arc. I mean, seriously, we met him and then he was dead. I mean, seriously, Ms. Hunter? Why did you go to all the trouble to name him and make him a genetically impossible _freak _of nature just to (randomly) kill him off before we even really got to know him? What's the point of _that_? 'Cause I have sooooo many questions for him. The number one being…HOW DID YOU HAVE A KIT? AND WHO IN STARCLAN'S NAME HAD IT WITH YOU? (it _says _on Warriors Wiki that his mate was Brindleface which makes Ashfur hitting on Squirrelflight even creepier because that means HE'S HER UNCLE! AAAAHHHHH! (well, it wouldn't be the _first _time lol…guess that's why you can get a male tortie in ThunderClan!))

But, alas, the Hunters needed a quick and convenient plot ploy, one that would serve (even in death, mind you) to start into the whole _omg the apparently noble and awesome Tigerclaw is actually EVIL _plot line. And then, of course, our hero (the amazingly-awesome-kittypet-turned-perfectly-awesome-and-smart-detective Firestar (then still Firepaw/heart mind you (that's how long ago freaking Redtail died))) had to swoop in and be like: _there's something fishy (and it sure as heck ain't RiverClan) about Redtail's (whoever _that _is, never met him!) death! I will totally find all the answers and SAVE THE DAY! _

You all know how this ends. Wittle Firepaw/heart eventually exposes Tigerclaw as Redtail's killer (not that _anybody _believed him at first because _Tigerclaw COULDN'T have been evil_) and Redtail's (random) death is, well, avenged I guess. For the first time in the story, he can rest in peace without Firepaw/heart (who, by the way, never even _met _him) angsting over his death.

Oh, but there's more. You see, my friends, the Hunters decided to sort of kind of work on his character (randomly) in Bluestar's Prophecy. I mean, I _guess _they decided that the little genetic freak of nature (literally, he apparently _was _little) decided to get something resembling a personality (if you can even _call _it that). He's all nice and loyal to Bluestar at the end of the book. _Awesome_, Ms. Hunter, _awesome! _I got to learn _so _much about him from his brief cameo appearance. Loyal warrior? Check. Understanding? Check. Killed (randomly) for no apparent reason by Tigerstar? CHECK! Wow…what a life.

So if these cats had tombstones, Redtail's would read:

_RIP Redtail. You lived and (randomly) died like your typical, generic warrior (i.e. underneath Ms. Hunter's thumb) _

Not to say that I would've handled Redtail's death by Tigerclaw's ambition (no, but Oakheart _clearly _killed him, just ask ThunderClan for like forever (until Firepaw/heart saved the day again) better, but…well… I would have! I mean, come on, all the Hunters had to do was WAIT TO KILL HIM OFF! You know, give him a personality, make the search to find his true killer more personal. Because _that _would have been interesting, and maybe then I would have cared that Redtail (randomly) died. Maybe then his giving Firestar the gift of _justice _(wow…I didn't see _that _coming, no not at all) would have been more touching. I don't know.

Because Redtail never got the chance to be something. With the stroke of a pen, he was reduced to being that (random) cat that got (randomly) killed off by Tigerstar. Well, he got the honor of being el numero uno cat that died because of him, so I _guess _that's saying something.

So, to sum this all up, Redtail is nothing more than a plot ploy and a genetic freak of nature that should have never been able to have kits but because the Hunters apparently don't know _squat _about Bio he magically could. There's really not much else say…

_Hope you liked it! And, as always, review, and DON'T FORGET TO VOTE FOR Dustpelt vs. Tawnypelt! Thanks guys. _

_Until next time,_

_~Moore12~ _


	22. Redtail Continued!

_Hi, guys! Keep voting on the Dustpelt vs. Tawnypelt pole! I won't be able to update for a few days, but will as soon as I get back. So keep voting! I'm posting a supplement/correction to the Redtail post to tide you over. _

_I was inspired to…well, continue my Redtail "rant" (if you want to call it that) by Fantasia-The-Crazy. So, as you can tell, your comments really inspire me so please keep commenting. Thanks! _

_**Picking on…Redtail CONTINUED! **_

I was reading through my loyal reviewers/readers comments when one caught my eye. It was by Fantasia-The-Crazy and it read as follows:

"I hate to burst your bubble here, but I've done a bit of research on the subject of male torties/calicos. There are actually multiple kinds of mutations and prenatal deformities that can cause this coloration in a male cat, and not all of them cause genetic sterilization. So, there's a possibility that Redtail could still have been able to breed. I don't mean to sound like a know-it-all or anything, I'm just pointing this out."

You're not bursting my bubble, Fantasia! In fact…THIS IS AWESOME NEWS!

You know why? Because, well, that just makes this an even more EPIC case of the Hunters insulting our intelligence. Now, I went back onto Google and did even _more _research on the subject (so that, well, I can get out the correct information) and found out that about 1 in 3,000 torties born are male. And out of the males that are born…VERY FEW ARE NOT STERILE! Yes, as Fantasia correctly pointed out (my bad, folks) it CAN happen. But it's _so _unlikely.

So the Hunters are expecting us to believe that Redtail is pretty much the one in the million (note: this is an exaggeration for emphasis lol…) tortie male that isn't sterile? Right…Well, I guess since they apparently live in _fantasyland _that can happen. Hey, for all I know Sol (a tortie _male _(now what's the chance there's 2 of them?) that is…um…more like a female (well, at least _that _is playing to the fact that a lot of tortie males act like females apparently) has a bunch of kits too. Because, hey, people who read Warriors have _no _access to a _computer_. No…

Wow…This is really, really _hilarious_, folks. Because, well, a rare cat like Redtail (a tortie that can _*gasp* _have kits!) shouldn't be able to be conceived into a clan of wild cats right?

Wrong! Nope, that's _very _likely. You know already know why, folks. It's because: THUNDERCLAN IS FILLED WITH CATS HAVING BABIES WITH THEIR UNCLES AND COUSINS AND ALL MANNER OF WEIRDNESS (but it's their decision so that's alright. Hey, last time I checked there weren't many eligible bachelorettes for Dustpelt when he ended up with his niece…).

So, to sum this up, the Redtail case is an even more EPIC case of them insulting our intelligence. Thanks to Fantasia for pointing that out!

_Hope you enjoyed my supplement. Keep voting, and check out some of my other stories while I'm away. Will update as soon as I get back! _

_~Moore12~ _


	23. Dustpelt!

_**Picking on…Dustpelt! **_

_Thanks to Icepool102 for the original suggestion and to everyone who voted in the Dustpelt vs. Tawnypelt pole… (Sorry if I left anyone out in the original suggestion category, I looked through all of the pages and Icepool102 was the only one I found…) _

_It's Dustpelt in a close battle with Tawnypelt! And, as always, thanks for all your suggestions. So now, for the next installment, it's between __Tawnypelt and Oakheart!__ So please vote, and, as always, keep up with the suggestions. Briarpaw's argument inspired me to nominate Oakheart so just know that I do read your reviews/suggestions. _

_Oh and pretty please with a cherry on top look at my other stories. I know they're not Warriors related, by I still think you'd like them. I DO write more than just this series, just so you know. I'm not a one trick pony and would love to hear what you all think about my other works. Thanks guys! _

_This will earn its T rating. Don't say I didn't warn you._

_Ramblings about how Dustpelt is more than just a perverted sex addict bent on repopulating ThunderClan with his own babies and is actually *gasp* an evil genius… _

Awhile ago now, I talked about DustXFern in great detail. Now, I'm still convinced that EVERYTHING I said in that post is completely true. In case you forgot, I theorized that Dustpelt is actually a quite noble (though slightly evil) cat who wanted to repopulate ThunderClan with…uh…cats that actually _aren't _kittypets. And, yes, thanks to many comments by many different readers, I realize now that the DustXFern thing is even creepier than I thought it was. Because, well, he's HER UNCLE! Well, at least he's not her brother or father (why could I _totally _see the Hunters having something like that _accidently _happen? Uh…maybe because they don't seem to know how to proofread?)

Anyway, like always, there's _far _more to this story than meets the eye. Yeah, I know I explained that Dustpelt is a noble (though slightly evil) cat who also is (ugh) in love with his niece and _uses _her to repopulate ThunderClan with purebred ThunderClan cats (only to have his spurn him and his ideals by ending up with kittypets or half-kittypets (so much for listening to their diddy!)).

Now, I'll admit I actually like Dustpelt (he's number 10 on my top 10 Warriors list). Why, you must all be wondering. I mean, you must all be saying, _how the heck can Moore12 actually _like _that perverted freak and mean spirited cat that only seems to exist to have sex with Ferncloud and have a bunch of babies (that (randomly) die or (randomly) mate with kittypets or half-kittypets)? Didn't Moore12 just explain why we shouldn't like him? _

Yes, I'll admit that Dustpelt seems to have trouble controlling his libido, and, yes, I've got to say that mating with your niece is kind of revolting and creepy. But there's something strangely likable about Dustpelt, and when you're done reading this I'm sure you'll agree.

Because, well, there's something _more _to this story, something that we're all missing. And I think I got it. I think I _finally_ have put all the pieces of the puzzle together and _finally _understand what the Hunters were after when they inserted Dustpelt (then Dustpaw mind you) into the story.

Let's back up a moment, shall we? When we first met Dustpaw, he was totally dead set against Firestar (then Firepaw) joining the Clan. His jeers and hostility towards the wondercat-who-was-destined-to-completely-ruin-ThunderClan-with-his-_awesome_-totally-_not_-Mary-Sue-personality graced the pages of many books, even after Fireheart _graciously _helped him to _finally _get his warrior name. I mean, how could Dustpet _possibly _hate that-adorable-ball-of-fluff-and-kindness-that? I mean _seriously_, folks, how could Dustpelt resent the fact that Fireheart got his name earlier (even though he had been training for _far_ less time) and that Fireheart stole the she-cat of his dreams for no good reason and that Fireheart just magically for no apparent good reason became deputy (mind you that was just for plot advancement) and that Fireheart was just so kind and generous to get him his name and his first apprentice to _shut him up_. Oh, yes, how could Dustpelt _hate _Fireheart so much? It just _doesn't _make _any _sense. No, not at_ all_…

Yes, all that about Dustpelt wanting to repopulate ThunderClan with his own babies is true. And, yes, it's kind of backfiring on him. But, well, there's _more _to this story, and it sure has heck ain't a story of redemption that the Hunters _want _you to believe.

You all are _dying _to know what I like about Dustpelt, aren't you? Now's not the time to tell you, not yet. Just think about something for a moment. Do you _honestly _believe that Dustpelt just (randomly) decided one fine day to forgive Firestar and become one of his most trustworthy, loyal and bestest warriors? Do you _honestly _think that Dustpelt doesn't harbor some grudge against Firestar for stealing Sandstorm from him and for leaving him to deal with that personality-less lump of fur he's stuck with? I can't, and you shouldn't either.

Okay, follow me on this one. You see, Dustpelt isn't as stupid as we've been led to believe. Even I, I must admit, underestimated him at first. No, Dustpelt _knows _as well as we do that Firestar is both naïve and trusting. Do you know Lincoln's great quote, the one that says, "A house divided against itself cannot stand"? Granted, this isn't the same situation, but Dustpelt, you see,_ knows _that a Clan that's split in two can't survive and that, well, blood runs thicker than water (which is an old proverb apparently). And Dustpelt _isn't _stupid (unlike Firestar) because since his PLAN A has backfired he's moved on to PLAN B.

And _that_, folks, is why Dustpelt's one of my top 10 favorite warriors. Because he's _so _much more than what you see on the surface. Even I missed his true intentions at first.

Here's what I think is going to happen, folks. You see, Dustpelt has ALWAYS had a plan. Ever since the day he nobly wouldn't leave ThunderClan with Tigerclaw he had a plan. Having kits? That was just one _wittle _part of his plan. Accepting the fact that his kits are mating with kittypets and half-kittypets? Well, THAT wasn't part of the plan, but he _adapted _as any good villain bent on getting revenge and taking over must. Because, as you all know, blood runs thicker than water, doesn't it? Sucking up to Firestar and becoming a _trusted _and _loyal _senior warrior, one that all cats in the clan trust, who's voice matters? Hello, folks? Are you hearing what I'm saying? THAT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF HIS PLAN!

You still following this chain of logic? Well, I think that Dustpelt's got all this figured out. Because, well, we all have to admit that Firestar isn't _exactly _street smart. _No_, he's just the absolutely-perfect-and-totally-_awesome_-leader-who-cares-_so_-much-about-his-warriors. So if you can get Firestar to _trust _you _unconditionally _and have, I don't know, about _half _the clan related to you, wouldn't it be a cakewalk to one day just TAKE IT OVER?

Because, folks, you should know that what Lincoln said is true. And what that old proverb is also true. And _that_ is what Dustpelt is banking on and knows. And _that _is why I think Dustpelt is AWESOME. He's a villain that's just sneaking around, waiting for the right moment to strike. He doesn't just have to _ANNOUNCE _it like lesser villains (i.e. Tigerstar, Hawkfrost, etc., etc., etc.). No, Dustpelt's _much _too smart for that. Why he didn't leave with Tigerclaw? Because with him out of the way he could be ThunderClan's resident bad guy (just noticing now that ThunderClan hasn't had a resident bad guy in far too long. Are you now starting to believe me?).

So, to sum this all up, Dustpelt is FAR more than what meets the eye. He's more than just a sex-starved maniac bent on repopulating ThunderClan, attached to that stupid lump of fur who shall remain nameless (because _why _did she even get one when she has _zero_ personality?). He's actually a manipulative, ingenious villain just waiting for the right moment to pounce. So when Firestar ends up getting killed due to a horrible splitting up of ThunderClan, you heard it from me first.

_Now THAT was fun. I got to say I enjoyed writing that one a lot. Oh, for those of you who don't know what the "blood runs thicker than water" thing is about, it's basically saying that your family will always be there for you when your friends won't be. So basically Dustpelt _knows _his family will follow him because family has to stick together. Make sense? _

_Anyway, please vote in the Tawnypelt vs. Oakheart poll! And check out my other stories! Won't be updating for a few days because I'll be on vacation again, but enjoy this! _

_Until next time… _

_~Moore12~ _


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